Monkey Bars and Other Life Obstacles

I’ll never forget one of my first Boy Scout camping trips. It was kind a mini jamboree with several troops camping in proximity to one another. There were lots of kids, tents, campfires and fun stuff to do.

One of the activities they scheduled for us was an obstacle course which wound its way through a playground and made use of the equipment. We walked on see saws, climbed up slippery slides, jogged through tires and traversed the monkey bars.

For most kids, monkey bars are fun but as a chubby kid, I was never good at them and these were especially bad because for extra motivation, the ground beneath them had been soaked into mud. Boys will be boys.

Standing in line waiting for my monkey bar humiliation, I mentally grasped at ways of getting out of it. Could I fane a stomach ache? No, that would get me sent home. Could I swing out far enough to avoid being covered with mud for two days? No, the puddle was formidable in size. There were only two choices ahead. I could demonstrate unsportsmanlike like behavior and whine my way out of the monkey bars or I could give it a go and, baring a miracle, fall to the mud in disgrace. I chose to face my doom.

As I climbed the ladder toward the cross section, inspiration flooded my soul and I came up with the answer. They said I had to get across this obstacle, but they did not say how. Instead of hanging and swinging from arm to arm, I opted to climb up and walk across the top, thus saving my nicely ironed uniform from muddy degradation.

Of course I was teased and heckled. But the ruling fell in my favor and a couple of fat kids in line behind me followed suit. I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. As long as we fail to confront obstacles, they loom large and daunting. Once confronted, we are able to see our way to a resolution.

Over the years, I’ve seen the same obstacles come back at different times, under unexpected circumstances and in different forms. It is as if the obstacles in my life were uniquely designed for me to confront and conquer. Life is kind of a giant custom designed obstacle course in which we confront challenges and learn, to conquer them. We can choose to either see life and its obstacles as either a big game or as a tedious exercise. And it is that decision that factors into whether we spend our lives laughing or crying.

It does not really matter how we choose to confront those obstacles as long as we face them. I could have gone home from that camping trip, lifted weights, gone on a diet and practiced until I could cross those monkey bars in the traditional way. Instead, I used innovation and faced taunting for bucking the system and being labeled as rebellious or different. (A life lesson of its own.) Neither strategy is necessarily more right than the other. If I had understood the importance of life balance back then, I probably would have done both. It would have helped me later in other ways that I could not see at the time like when my gym teacher insisted we do chin-ups or climb a rope to the rafters of the gym.

Obstacles by nature come back again and again like hurdles on a track. To mangle a quote from W.C. Fields, the only fish that get to float downstream are the dead ones. It takes a live one to swim.

So how do you see obstacles? Do you whine about the thorn in your side or see them as an opportunity to learn something new and try something else? If you stumble or fall, will you get up and try again or will you limp off to the sidelines and whine about how long or hard the game is? The next time you are confronted by an obstacle, try greeting it like an old and familiar opponent in a game that has been designed especially for you.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant working with organizations to cultivate an "employer of choice" work environment. Visit his website at http://www.integrityhpi.com to learn more about Joseph and his work.

Divorce Your Debt: Five Alternatives

Debt, particularly the kind that comes from credit cards, can leave consumers on a sort of hamster wheel, paying, paying and paying and never getting anywhere. While most people use their cards meaning to pay their debts, bad decisions, a struggling economy or unexpected expenses can derail the best of intentions. Unfortunately, when it comes to debt, it isn’t the thought that counts.

Eventually, most people on that hamster wheel realize the futility and will do just about anything to get off. It is important to understand the alternatives.

DIY debt reduction is a plan in which consumers strive to reduce or eliminate their debt on their own. In its simplest form, a DIY plan must employ two criteria to work. Consumers must stop using credit and they have to pay more than the minimum amount due each month. A DIY plan requires a lot of discipline and belt-tightening but it will work, though it may take years longer than most people think.

Add on a few details to the plan and it can work more quickly. By paying at the beginning of billing cycles, one saves a bit of interest and is never in danger of late fees. Over paying by at least 20% will significantly affect the principal debt. The more money paid early in the process, the sooner it will be over but the most dramatic results may not be visible for quite a while.

Transferring Balances or shifting debt from one credit card to another may provide temporary relief and help jumpstart a DIY plan. Combined with very aggressive payments, that little interest rate break may last long enough to help people get back on track. Unless there is a real DIY plan, however, transferring balances just postpones the inevitable. The introductory interest rates are temporary; sometimes barely lasting six months. One must consider the subsequent interest rate if the debt cannot be paid entirely during the period of the introductory offer.

There are also lots of snares and traps associated with balance transfers. The ways the interest is calculated, the method the creditor uses to classify balances and how payments are applied could end up costing the consumer much more than imagined. Additionally, penalties in the forms of fees or interest rate hikes if the consumer is even a day late with a payment can make the balance transfer a really bad decision.

Debt Consolidation is often the first alternative people think of but is unavailable to most consumers. Consolidation is supplied by a bank and is usually associated with a line of credit or a loan based on home equity. If a consumer does not have assets and equity, there is no loan.

Paying off high-interest rate credit cards with a lower interest rate mortgage makes sense on several levels. The lower interest rate, easier payments and the ability to deduct the interest from taxable income are enticing. However, default on the loan can result in the loss of a consumer’s home instead of mere credit report damage on unpaid, unsecured debt. Lengthening the payback time on the debt may reduce payments but additional months or years of interest really add up. And there is always the potential of running up those now empty card balances again.

Debt Management is when an agency, usually a non-profit company, contacts a consumer’s creditors and requests interest rate and minimum payment reductions which are significant enough to help the consumer effectively pay the debt in a reasonable time frame. These agencies have standing agreements with most creditors and if the consumer is in arrears, the proposals for payment plans are often accepted. The debt management agency will also consolidate payments so that the consumer makes one large payment each month to the agency which is then distributed to the creditors. Fees often apply and a consumer is required to stop using credit entirely. Debt management also maintains the damage to credit reports that first prompted the need for help. Even with generous creditor concessions, it can take years to pay off the debt.

Debt Settlement must be accomplished by experienced negotiators who approach a consumer’s creditors and negotiate a reduced balance. Debt settlement requires considerable knowledge of consumer rights and a clear understanding of the credit card industry. The consumer will pay less on the debt but often has to pay all at once. (Sometimes payment plans can be established but usually this involves additional loans which are secured with assets.) The consumer will also pay a steep fee to the settlement company. Credit report damage remains to the legal limit and all forgiven debt becomes taxable income; so Uncle Sam gets his cut next April.

Bankruptcy comes in a number of forms. Most often consumers are guided to either Chapter 13 or Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Chapter 13 is a court ordered version of debt management and many who file for Chapter 13 eventually re-file for Chapter 7. Chapter 7 is when the court orders that included debt be discharged entirely. The consumer is given a fresh start with a credit report that is severely damaged for ten years.

Filing for Chapter 7 does not automatically guarantee that debts will be discharged. Consumers would be well advised to seek the advice and guidance of a reputable and experienced attorney who specializes in bankruptcy.

Getting advice is often difficult because it seems that everyone who knows enough to give it also has something to sell. With the exception of the DIY plan, attempting to do any of them on one’s own can make matters much worse.

When creditors are alerted to a possibly defaulting debt, they will, of course, act and speak in their own interest. They may revoke credit making the entire balance due immediately. They may reduce credit limits far below the outstanding balance, charging over-the-limit fees until the balance is significantly reduced. They may raise interest rates and increase minimum payments. They may even sell accounts off to collection agencies which will assuredly be much more aggressive than the original creditors and which are more likely to actually take the legal action they threaten.

A common mistake consumers make in choosing one method over the other is they base their decision on emotions more than understanding the practical solution that best fits their situation. They wish to be ethical without understanding the ethics of the credit world. They worry about their credit reports without knowing how credit reports work. They fear not having their credit cards because they do not know how to live without them or within their means.

Education is key to our decision but second best is advice from a certified, and reputable, financial counselor—not a financial adviser who focuses on investments. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) provides a website feature to help locate reputable certified counselors. These counselors all work for debt management agencies under the governance and standards of the NFCC and are a consumer’s best bet for reliable advice.

Joseph Onesta is speaker, trainer and work culture consultant. As former Director of Education for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he has helped tens of thousands of consumers along the path to financial wellness through education seminars, workshops and publications. To learn more about his services, visit his website at www.integrityhpi.com.

Stop the Insanity--Eat, Breath & Move

Susan Powter was right!

Spend just an hour watching television and count how many commercials advertise, exercise equipment, diet pills, face creams, hair-loss remedies, new medications for diseases we never knew existed and herbal supplements to enhance male potency. For all our obsessions, we Americans are an amazingly obese, disease-ridden society that worries itself into an early grave.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant. His company, Integrity HPI, works with organizations to help build and maintain and "employer of choice" work environment. For more information about Joseph Onesta or his company, visit his website at http:www.integrityhpi.com


In the 90’s buzz-cut, Susan Powter, shouted her message of “Stop the Insanity. What you have to do is eat, breath and move.” It comes down to that. (She's still around... http://www.susanpowteronline.com )

If we are going to pursue a balanced life, we have to make room for taking care of our bodies. After all, we can’t have a balanced life if we have no life to balance. And, we all know how simple physical discomfort, things like hangnails and paper cuts, can distract us from absolutely everything else. In balancing our lives, we have to consider our bodies.

Drastic lifestyle changes are almost always doomed to failure. We’ve proven it again and again. We buy gym memberships we never use. We buy proportioned food plans that we eat in less than half the time they are supposed to last. Our basements are filled with unused exercise equipment and our cupboard shelves are lined bottles of herbal supplements we don’t take.

There are, however, some simple things we can do to grow healthier by the day. Based on average American lifestyle and diet, not all of these recommendations will apply to every individual. Choose the ones that best apply to your life.

EAT

We eat for lots of reasons but biologically, there are only two. We need fuel and we need nutrition. In looking to improve our diet, the devil is in the details. The more complicated we make it, the less likely we are to follow through but some simple principles can go a long way.

The average American diet is heavily laden with salt, fat, processed sugars, chemicals and empty calories. Nutrition labels have to exist because our processed food products are designed to taste good, stay on the shelves for a long time and be cheap to manufacture. Apart from supplying empty calories, processed foods often provide little else. In fact what nutrition there may be has often been added to the product after processing has removed the natural nutrients.

So, read labels! You should know what you are eating. They often betray outrageous levels of fat, salt and processed sugars which are major contributors to some of the most common yet deadly conditions in American culture—obesity, high-blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease and diabetes. The chemicals are probably tied to cancer in more ways than one, we just either can’t prove it or powerful lobbies keep the information out of our hands. Look how long it took the tobacco industry to admit that smoking is addictive and causes lung cancer.



The contents of food products are listed in order of quantity. The first few words may be frightening enough but keep reading. If you start getting into words you do not recognize or cannot pronounce, you are likely among chemical additives for consistency, color or preservation. The word “artificial” is a definite chemical indicator. It does not take much mental power to understand that eating an apple picked from a tree is better for you than drinking apple flavored beverage most of which is chemical additives and processed sugars.

Don’t be fooled by the words “natural flavors” either. If there were natural foods in there, they would be listed in the contents. The so-called natural flavors can just as likely include the odd bug that falls into the vat during processing.

Eating more fresh fruit and vegetables would be a dramatic improvement for many of us and if we go with certified organic produce, we avoid consuming chemicals which have been applied as fertilizers and pesticides. Salad is nice but be careful about the dressing. Eating more whole grains will increase our fiber and add natural nutrition. Think twice before picking up the butter knife or salt shaker.

Consider cooking and eating at home more. If you have ever been to a restaurant supply store, you know that it is filled with processed food as are most restaurant kitchens. The only difference is the size of the packaging.

BREATHE

Unless you live in Bangkok or Los Angeles, chances are the air outside is better than the air inside. Get out into the countryside and breathe some good fresh air. In your daily routine, consider some deep breathing exercises to expand your lungs.

When I was in the hospital recovering from spinal surgery, every once in a while, a beeping machine would bring a nurse who would instruct me to breathe deeply. Apparently one of the cords attached to my body alerted her to the fact that my tissues were not getting enough oxygen. A few deep breaths rectified the problem. I find that amazing!

Most of us do not think about breathing. After all, we do it constantly and unintentionally. Who would think that such a simple thing as conscious deep breathing could make such a difference in our health? This also sheds a new light on smoking, does it not? Cancer may be slow in coming but what about all that oxygen depleted breathing you are doing? If you smoke, stop. If you hang around with smokers, don’t.

MOVE

Have you heard? Your local gym is having a membership sale. Buying a membership won’t do you any good unless actually go several times a week and do more than sit in the Jacuzzi. If going to the gym fits your life, go. But you don’t need a membership to get some exercise. Just get up and move. Walk to the corner and back. Take the stairs at the office. Wash your own car. Take a walk in the woods. When you go to the pool, get in and swim rather than just bobbing around a looking at the people in their bathing suits wishing you were thinner. Small changes can make a big difference, even parking in the space farthest from the entrance to the donnut shop! Just move more.

Though we are lured by the promise of miracle supplements, magic weight pills, youth in a jar of cream and perfect health and vigor in a capsule, they are all snake oil compared to the simple straightforward advice of someone like Susan Powter. We need to eat, breathe and move.

Dumbest Things People Do With Credit Cards

As our economy appears to be passing through some of the darkest times since the 1929 stock market crash, almost all of us are faced with juggling our assets and liabilities. Unfortunately some of us may make some pretty dire mistakes with our credit cards. These mistakes can only harm us in the long-run. Try to avoid them.

Taking cash advances to make ends meet. The interest rate on cash advance balances is often astronomical compared to your regular interest rate. You may notice that your payments are applied in a way that makes it difficult to pay off the cash advance balance without paying off the whole card.

Using credit card “checks” to pay bills. Be real careful about those checks your creditors send you from time to time. The temporary interest rate seems appealing but what will it be when the trial period runs out? Also there are transaction fees associated with those checks that may significantly offset the discounted rates on offer. Read the fine print and ask questions before using them.

Borrowing from one card to pay another. This is a bad sign and if you are doing this you need to see a credit professional pronto. Borrowing from one credit card, whether using a credit card check or getting a cash advance, to pay another is like paying compounded interest on the same debt twice. Your debt moves from creditor to creditor but at an ultimately much higher rate.

Making partial payments. If your payment is even one dollar short of the minimum, your credit card company will consider your account delinquent. Creditors do not consider your effort or sacrifice in sending as much as you could. It was still not enough. Late fees will apply and you if you don’t catch up before the next statement is printed, your delinquency will show up on your credit report.

Paying just a few days late. Your creditor isn’t looking at the postmark on your payment. If your payment doesn’t arrive and post on time, you are late. Fees apply. Let the account go more than 30 days late and you are looking at remarks on your credit report for seven years. Paying late may also come with other penalties such as reduced credit limits and higher interest rates on existing balances.

If you are already on a credit card treadmill, the faulting economy may well be the proverbial straw to break the camel’s back. Seek help from a certified financial counselor. The National Foundation for Counseling can put you in contact with a reputable nearby counselor. Ask the counselor to explain all your options and the consequences of each before you decide.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker and consultant with Integrity HPI. As former Director of Education and Training at Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he authored a personal finance certificate course and has helped tens of thousands of individuals and family along the road to financial wellbeing. Visit his website at www.integrityhpi.com for more information and to subscribe to his free Balanced Life Tips e-newsletter.

Money Smart Kids: Ten Things You Should Teach Your Kids About Money

As good parents, we strive to give our children the best opportunities for success. However, when it comes to understanding how money works, many parents are doing a miserable job. National surveys conducted by the Jump$tart Coalition show that the majority of high school seniors fail the test when it comes to even simple money skills. Why?

Some parents undoubtedly feel inadequate to teach their kids about money because they struggle with their own finances. Others may think that money management skills are obvious and easy. Perhaps others simply want to shield their children from concerns about money and other harsh realities of life. Finally, there are perhaps a few others who wish to maintain one of the last vestiges of control they have as their kids careen through their teenage years.

You do not have to be a financial wizard to pass on sound money skills to your kids. If you ask me, you are doing them damage if you do not teach them how to manage their money. So, even if you feel like you need to learn more before attempting to help your kids become money wise, here are some sound principles that will help them stay on the healthy side of their wallets for the rest of their lives. You may find yourself learning along with them.

Money comes from work, not the ATM. Unless you come from a long line of super wealthy people, you probably have to work for the money you get. It does not magically appear out of cash machines. However, for most kids, the experience is the opposite. They have not had to work. All they need to do is ask. Kids really benefit from understanding that Mom or Dad, most likely both, have to work very hard for the money that that the family spends. Someday, they will have to go to work to get their own money. Help them understand that doing well in school will help them get a better paying job.

As kids get older, it is all right to exchange cash for extra work. Offer them opportunities to earn the money they need for the things that they want. It’s not good to pay them to do things that they will have to do for free for the rest of their lives like make their beds or clean up their rooms. It certainly wouldn’t hurt them to wash the car or cut the grass for a little cash.

You can’t have everything you want. We have only a limited amount of money every month. After we use that money to buy something, we have less money to spend on other things. Consequently, the number of ways we can choose to spend the remaining money is reduced. If we use our money to buy candy today, we may not have enough left to go to the movies tomorrow. We should think about and plan how we are going to use our money before we start spending it.

When kids are learning to manage an allowance, tell them how it is to be used. Give them financial responsibility for entertainment, clothes, music, cosmetics whatever they spend money on. Avoid constantly bailing them out of tight money situations if or when they overspend. They might miss a movie or two but they’ll learn how to manage.

Buy the stuff you need before you buy the stuff you that you want. Since we have limited amounts of money, some of the things we buy are more important than others because we need them. When making a plan for spending our money, we make sure we buy the things we need before we start spending money on the things we want. We buy school supplies and clothes before toys and candy. Mom and Dad do this as well. We make sure the rent or mortgage is paid before we start spend money on a vacation.

Some people have more money than other people and consequently, they have more stuff. Perhaps they are paid more for their work or they work more hours than others. There will always be other kids with bigger, better, newer things. Children need to see those differences and learn how to cope with them. Having more stuff does not make one person better than another person. It is all right to have less than someone else. If we have more that others, we should share.

Sharing is fun. If we have stuff that other people do not have, we can share it with them and enjoy it together. Part of the joy of owning something is sharing the experience of using it. Owning a barbeque or big screen television is more fun when we invite family and friends over to share them. Sometimes other people will have things that we do not have and they might like to share them with us.

We save up to get bigger stuff. When we do not have enough money to buy something we want today, we can decide to not spend our money on other things until we have enough to buy it. Being willing to sacrifice other things and save perhaps for a long time, just shows us how much we really want that expensive item. Sometimes, after all the sacrificing and saving, we realize we really did not want the item as much as we thought we did and we do not buy it. This kind of experience helps us be more judicious about purchases in the future.

Help your children make these kinds of choices and follow through with the denial and the reward. If they choose to give up a toy or a treat to help get something bigger later, let them make the sacrifice. You may frequently have to remind your children of the choice but let them make it and stick to your guns.

Borrowing makes things cost more. If, instead of saving, we borrow money to buy bigger stuff sooner, we have to pay more because the person lending the money gets something out of the deal. Banks, credit cards and even parents can charge interest. We may have to work a long time to pay the money back. That money could be spent on other things that we must now do without because of our debt.

Many parents understandably have difficulty charging their children interest but if you allow them to “borrow” against their allowance, you can make this idea stick by allowing them to experience what it is like to do without until their debt is paid.

Generosity has its limits. It is good to be generous with others. However, we may be hurting our family if we spend or give money that we need in order to be generous with someone else. When we really want to be generous and that generosity requires a sacrifice on our part, we should only sacrifice things we want, not things we need.

Charity and helping out the less fortunate is a prevailing cultural norm in America of which we should be rightfully proud. Americans are the first to send help in a disaster. Our children, however, need help keeping generosity in perspective.

It is also important to help them understand that not everyone manages their money as well as we do. While we like to be kind and generous, we cannot make up for the lack of others when it comes to managing money. If our friends spend all their money on ice cream, we shouldn’t take money out of our savings to pay their way into the movies.

Saving is automatic. We save because that is what we do. Saving for the future should be a habit. Ten percent of everything we earn should automatically go into the bank. We do not need to know what we will buy with it. We do not need to know how we will spend it. We just do it because that is what we do with money. The day may come when we really need that cash and when we do, we will recognize it and be glad of our savings.

Advertising is not real. When kids see commercials for new toys or products, they really want the feeling or the fun those items appear to bring to the kids in the commercial. It is good to discuss with your children how much fun they would really have with that item. The kids in the commercial are actors. They are working and being paid to have fun with that product. Would we have as much fun? We buy something because it will meet our needs or we will enjoy it, not because kids in a commercial appeared to have fun or other kids at school have one already.

Even if your children grow up to have seven figure incomes, money skills will be the key to their financial security, success and even their self-esteem. No matter how much they earn, they will have learned skills that will help them be happy and get the things that they want.

Debt Free: Seven Steps to Reduce and Eliminate Credit Card Debt

Credit cards are a convenient way of not having to carry wads of cash to make purchases and, in the short term, they can help consumers take advantage purchasing options when cash flow and amazing sales do not match up. Using credit in the right way can greatly enhance the quality of our lives.

Unfortunately many people are far too liberal with credit card use. Using credit cards to buy things one cannot afford or to artificially maintain a standard of living that does not match one’s income may be fun for a while but are disastrous in the long run.

Most consumers do not really understand the cost of using their credit cards. Being able to afford the payments does not mean that one can actually afford the purchase. Using credit cards and making minimum payments can double or even triple the cost of a purchase because those payments mostly cover interest charges. That means a twenty-dollar pizza paid for on a credit card might end up costing sixty bucks!

Consumers who unwisely use credit quickly discover they are on a credit card treadmill. It doesn’t take long before most of their cash becomes tied up in making payments on their cards. There isn’t cash left to live on and when they use up the cards they have, they apply for more, either requesting limit increases or applying for new cards. Reality only begins to set in when their credit applications are eventually denied.

If you are beginning to recognize the credit card treadmill in your life, it may not be too late. But do not wait. What may just be a tank of gas here or a bag of groceries there will quickly become an all out inability to afford even the basic necessities of life without credit.

If you take decisive action now, you will not only save your credit report, you will save thousands of dollars and in the long-run; you will save your quality of life. Here is what you need to do.

1. Stop using most of your cards. OK, your heart just sank. Take a minute and breathe. You may have to tighten your belt a little and sacrifice in order to do stop relying on credit but if you don’t do it now, it will be done to you eventually. Realize that for as long as you have been using your credit cards, you have been borrowing against your future income. It has always been predictable that you would have to sacrifice spending cash on stuff you might want later because you used credit to buy stuff you wanted earlier. Maybe you never thought of it this way but that is exactly what you did.

2. Carry only ONE card and pay it off each month. You can still have the convenience of using a credit card without the expensive interest. Simply do not use the card unless you have the cash in the bank to pay it off when the statement arrives. If you do not carry a balance from month to month, there should not be any interest to pay. If there is, get rid of that card!

3. Pay more than the minimum. Making the minimum payments means paying the most interest. When you are actively reducing your debt, you should over pay the minimum balance due by least 20%. If you do this and do not use the card, you will be applying the additional payment to the principal balance due and you will reduce your debt. Walletwizard.com offers a free, easy to use form that helps do this with more than one credit card.

4. Pay bills when they arrive, not when they are due. Most credit card interest is based on your Average Daily Balance. The sooner you make a payment, the lower the balance and the less you will pay over time. You also avoid the possibility penalties in the form of late fees and the interest rate increases that may result from your payment arriving after the due date.

5. Be careful transferring balances. If you have good credit, you are probably receiving offers to transfer your other balances to a new account. In general, applying for more credit is a bad idea because of the danger of using your old cards after transferring the balance. Sometimes those introductory rates are awfully tempting! Before you apply, carefully read and understand the terms of the new card. How long will that introductory interest rate last? What do you have to do to maintain that rate? What interest rate will kick in after the introductory rate expires?

6. Create and maintain a spending plan. Have a clear understanding of your income and expenses. You have to live within your means. In fact, for a time, you will have to live below your means in order to pay off your debt. Tighten your belt a little more and throw as much money at your debt as is sustainably possible.

7. If you need help, get it; but beware. If you watch television, you see countless commercials for debt solutions promising to reduce your interest rates, consolidate your payments, or even pay less than you owe. Before you opt for any of these advertised solutions you need to understand your options. Carefully consider the terms, the associated fees, and the consequences, particularly to your credit report. If it sounds too good to be true, there is likely something you do not understand about the program.

If you are having difficulties associated with credit card debt, doing nothing will only make things worse. Acting now to reduce and even eliminate your credit card debt is one of the best things you can do for a brighter financial future.


Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and work culture consultant. As Director of Education for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he helped thousands of individuals and families toward financial wellness through articles, seminars and his personal finance certificate course. He now offers his services through employers who understand the value of Personal Finance Employee Education. Visit his website at www.integrityhpi.com.

Steps of Faith....

At the root of all of the practical considerations and obligations we juggle day to day, lay four essential aspects of an individual’s life. They are the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual parts of our lives and as we proceed, we learn that finding balance between these four is our critical challenge. When we think of balancing our lives we often consider what we can do to achieve better balance. A lot of our talk is about steps we can take.

While most often considered a spiritual force, it is not reserved for religious purposes. When we take a step in faith, we are using an internal power that has the potential to change everything. We should use it wisely.

On a recent channel surf through my cable selections, I happened upon one of those now ubiquitous weight loss programs which focus on extremely obese people and their struggle to lose weight. The show featured a woman who, with evidence of before and after photos, demonstrated that before she had children, she was young and svelte. After giving birth her busy life working and caring for her children lead to gaining a pound here and there. Eventually she was so fat a film crew became interested in her. She blamed her obesity on having children.

I do not discount the weight women gain in pregnancy. Nor do I minimize the effort required to lose that weight after childbirth. My point is that to blame her obesity on having children completely discounts the fifteen or twenty years of emotions, attitudes and behaviors that are more likely the cause of her obesity. She has placed herself in a kind of prison, the bars of which are created by her own belief.

When she acts on that belief, she is, in a very powerful way, taking a step of faith. Faith does not necessarily imply God at the other end of it. Certainly, adhering to religious principals is an act of faith but faith and religion are two different things. Faith is a human tool that we all use. Every time we act or react because we believe something, we are stepping in faith. Tightrope walkers, for example, step out onto the rope believing that they can and will cross the rope safely. Their belief is well-founded on the hours of practice they have had but every tightrope walker is aware of the potential danger of falling. They simply do not believe that they will fall. If they believed that they were going to fall, they would never step out onto the rope.

The unfortunate thing for a lot of religious folks is that they associate faith with God or a miracle from God and leave it at that. There is a very real reason why many people ask God for a miracle and never get it. Faith itself is the miracle they are waiting for. When we learn to use faith appropriately, we unleash a power, call it spiritual if you like, that enables us to achieve our goals and aspirations.

When we are willing to take risks, however we define them; it is because we believe something is either possible or impossible. The trick is discerning the difference between what we know to be true and what we think or feel is true.

Some people think you need courage to take risks. That is not true. You need courage to face danger. You need faith to take risks. Risk and danger are two different things and so are faith and courage. It takes courage to run into a burning building to save a child. It takes faith to believe you can do it at all.

Every time I step in front of an audience, I act in faith believing that the audience will benefit from my speech, enjoy my performance and my client will consider my fee to be money well spent. It is like walking out on a tightrope. I have plenty of practice but the possibility of my failing is there. So, public speaking is a kind of risk I am willing to take.

It is easy to see faith involved in actively taking risks. We also need to see that faith is equally involved in not taking them and this is ultimately the point I am at pains to make. When we decide to not do something it is often because we believe that we will fail. In some cases, that is good. I will never step out on a tightrope since I am absolutely convinced I would fall off. That being said, what achievable goals or dreams am I avoiding simply because I have an unfounded, even irrational belief in failure?

If there is an aspect of our lives with which we are growing uncomfortable, if anything at all is going to change, we need to pay attention to what it is we believe about it. Once we clear up what we believe about the things we would like to change, the most formidable obstacles are gone.

It may sound like hocus pocus, psychobabble or even new age religion but the truth is that we act as a result of what we believe. We live our lives doing some things, avoiding others and likely wishing we could someday do still others all because of what we believe about the world, about other people and about ourselves and yes, even what we believe about God. Those beliefs may or may not be factual but we make them real to us.

We all have a spiritual side to our lives. It is that part of us that helps us cope with the unknown and, within the context of our own lives, the unknowable. Science gnaws away at the unknown but any honest scientist will admit that there is a lot we do not know. Until we know absolutely everything that is knowable, we will continue to take steps of faith, acting or not acting based on what we believe to be true.

So we are all stuck with faith of one sort or another. Faith is not something you can create, build up or muster but it is a natural part of being human. We act on it every day. Along our journey to find happiness, balance and purpose in life, we would do well to consider what it is we believe about every situation, condition or obstacle we face.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant. He publishes a free e-newsletter called Balanced Life. His company, Integrity HPI partners with companies to develop an "employer of choice" work environment.

Forget About New Year Resolutions!

There is nothing less life changing than a New Year Resolution. What may seem like an ideal time for change is an exceptionally bad choice. Most of us break our resolutions a few days, if not a few hours into the New Year. The problem is not only in our timing but in the resolutions themselves. We think we know what we want but…

Among the most common resolutions, getting fit or loosing weight is near the top of the list. Just under that is quitting some vice like smoking or drinking. And bringing up the rear is getting out of debt. What worse time of year could a person choose to attempt any of these goals? One party comes after another. Cookies, cakes and candy are everywhere. Drinking and smoking seem to go so well together, many of us cannot do one without the other. And, on average, holiday shopping adds between $900 and $1,500 worth of credit card debt to our financial woes.

It is no wonder that most resolutions are kaput as soon as the ball falls in Time Square. No sooner do we finish with that New Year kiss, we begin rationalizing a better time to start our resolutions. Tomorrow, that’s it, I’ll start tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes or if it does, it brings new excuses with it. Resolutions tend to be more life damaging than life changing. Many of us begin our new year with more failure and guilt than we do with purpose and good intention. So stop the madness.

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” In other words, we want to be happy. When we choose our resolutions, we do so because we think that achieving those goals, whatever they may be, will bring happiness with them. It is the happiness we want.

Do not bother with resolutions until you know what you are doing. No one thing or condition can make us happy or unhappy. You have heard the adage that money won’t buy happiness. The opposite is equally true. The lack of money won’t buy unhappiness. Evidence of this fundamental truth is all around us. Embrace it.

So, before we start listing the things we want to change about our lives, we should spend a little time thinking about happiness--not about what we think will make us happy but about when we are aware of being happy.

If, as Aristotle asserted, we are truly looking for happiness, we should look for it where it already exists, not where we think it should be. Happiness is not trying to elude us as if we were playing a cosmic game of hide and seek. It is right there. Ask yourself these questions: When do I feel the greatest joy, satisfaction or the sense of accomplishment? When am I filled with warmth, love and kindness? When am I most confident and proud of myself? The answers to these questions will tell you more about yourself and your true happiness than success at any New Year Resolution.

I am not suggesting we content ourselves with our lot in life. We all have aspects of our lives which could use a little work but far too often, we work on the wrong things. We are driven by advertisers who suggest we will be happier if we were thinner, better looking, younger, sexier, more successful or more powerful. Why do we persist in believing that such things will make us happy when there is so much evidence to the contrary?

Perhaps this is why so many people are obsessed with Hollywood gossip. We somehow feel a perverted sense of satisfaction when people, whom we think of as having everything, fail to be happy. For heaven’s sake, look at Oprah--a wonderful person, loving, interested in the well-being of others, extremely successful, the epitome of Hollywood power. Let her gain a few pounds and we pounce on her like a pride of hungry lions. We thirst after the reason why that woman is not living in absolute bliss!

When we recognize our real happiness, we more clearly see the things in life that we have allowed to act as barriers to our prolonged and pervasive contentment. We may, for example, realize that we are happy when dancing and we might think that losing a bit of weight will help us spend more time on the dance floor. More often is the case that more time on the dance floor results in our losing weight! You see, the real barrier is not the weight but the reasons we give ourselves for not dancing.

Eliminating the barriers to happiness will not make us happy. Like New Year Resolutions, that is a loser’s game. When we focus our attention on the things that get in the way of our happiness, we spend too much time thinking about being unhappy. Life is too short to waste time on such things.

We can all find happiness in our lives, even if that happiness has been obscured to the point of being a mere glimmer. We often allow so many of our obligations and difficulties to get in our way that we almost entirely divorce ourselves from happiness. If you are going to make any resolution at all, let it be for you to find that glimmer of happiness in your life and give yourself the freedom to nurture it and let it grow.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant. His company, Integrity HPI: Human Performance Improvement partners with organizations to develop and "employer of choice" work environment.

A Little Quiet Time to Feed Your Soul

(I found this picture on the Internet of someone else having quiet time. I couldn't find a link to ask permission so, if the photo is your's and you don't want it here, contact me and I'll be happy to remove it.)

Sometimes life just seems to fly by as if the world were picking up speed and about to spin off its axis. Days, weeks, even months and years seem to disappear and we wonder how time passed so quickly with so little memory to show for it.

For years now we have been hearing self-help gurus and spiritual teachers tell us that we need to get present, experience the moment as it happens and break the cycle of dragging our past into our speculation of the future without taking much notice of the present moment. Though repackaged from time to time, the message is a very old one dating back at least to biblical times—even Jesus of Nazareth recommended it. It always gets our attention. It always seems revolutionary. It always promises to change our lives, yet, so few of us ever really get it.

When I was in college, I was involved in a campus group of Christians who taught me a very useful and very powerful technique for experiencing the present moment. It is called Quiet Time. While my own practice of Quiet Time has a Christian focus, the technique can be suitably applied to any faith and will even work in the absence of one.

Quiet Time is, in its simplest form, just that—a time to be quiet. The practice is done every day and can also be used whenever life seems to be getting loud and noisy with commitments, obligations, requirements, stresses, worries or what-have-you. Consider the recommended 15 to 30 minutes dedicated to Quiet Time, a top priority in your day.

During Quiet Time you clear your mind of everything that demands your immediate attention. Morning may well be the best time for many of us because the day and its worries have not yet taken hold. During Quiet Time, do not allow the impending day to encroach on your moment. Be focused on not letting your mind race with tasks or project of the day.

You do not have to be still during Quiet Time. You can walk your dog, jog or sip coffee on the deck. Just keep your mind free of reliving past events or rehearsing future ones. When those thoughts arise, just push them back as if to say, “It is not time for you yet.”

Eckhart Toll in his work, “The Power of Now” shared an amazing technique that will help you recognize what clearing your mind actually feels like. Stop, ask yourself the question, “What will my next thought be?” The flash of a second between finishing the question and knowing the answer is what a clear mind experiencing the present moment feels like.

Maintaining a clear state of mind for much longer than a split second is nearly impossible for most of us. If your mind cannot be clear, it is better to fill it with something that takes you out of the complications of daily life.

Music is alright if you are in control of it. Do not use a radio or television because of the talk and interruptions. Such things will only distract you. Some people read sacred or devotional texts during this time. (Christians often read the Bible.) Others might pray or do some meditative activity such as yoga or even doing the dishes which takes no real thought or concentration.

When you are as clear as you are going to get at the moment, look at your life from an objective point of view. This might mean trying to see yourself as a character in a book or play. Imagine you are watching yourself. When you do this, you are able to rise above the clouds in your life. You get a very different perspective from practicing this technique. You see the context of your life. Best of all, if you can actually just imagine watching yourself doing whatever you are doing at the moment, you will be utterly present in that moment.

Now try to reconnect with the things that give your life meaning and purpose. These are the things that fill you with contentment when you think about them.

I have a mission statement for my life and while it has changed and developed over the years, reconnecting with that mission and considering my experiences in terms of it has helped me focus my efforts, understand my life and adjust my reactions and behaviors. What is it that gives you a sense of purpose?

As you end your time, decide on an affirmative action you can take that day to reaffirm your mission or purpose and accomplish it that day.

Quiet Time is like an anchor for your soul in the sea of your life. Daily practice will keep life and its confusion in perspective and will keep stress at bay. You will stay on track and your days will no longer sink in a bog of events and obligations. You will begin to experience your life as it happens rather than attempting to relive it through memories.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Trainer and Consultant. His company, IntegrityHPI ~ Human Performance Improvement, is dedicated to making our experience of work better for both companies and individuals. To learn more about his work or to invite him to speak at your event, please visit, www.integrityhpi.com

Get Off the Work-Life Balance Seesaw

Originally written for corporate execs, this entry is still quite good for our purposes. It is followed by some tips you can use to make your own work environment a happier, healthier place to be.

The term work-life balance implies that work and life are on opposite sides of a seesaw or scale and one must be weighed against the other. But employees cannot shed one and take up the other on respective sides of the time clock. We bring our lives to work and we take work home.

Many of our corporate leaders are of the Baby-Boomer generation. They have sacrificed nearly every aspect of their personal lives for the sake of their careers. For them, work-life balance naturally means more emphasis on the life side of the seesaw and our efforts to date have focused on facilitating the life side of the see saw.

There has been a lot of work done on the multi-generational work place. All of it points to the fact that the seesaw illustration of Work-Life Balance does not have the impact that employers hope because while it makes sense to the decision making baby-boomers, it may apply to the rest. At best, many work-life balance initiatives are temporary quick fixes of situations that present themselves in such a way that the costs associated with ignoring them are prohibitive.

Once we accepted the need to accommodate very complicated life situations, we made great inroads. Programs like flexible schedules, job sharing and telecommuting have proven themselves with positive ROI. These are now the givens, not the innovations.

Balanced life initiatives should be made for the purpose of making our companies employers of choice, attracting and engaging top talent for the long term. Achieving such a goal requires more than quick fixes, it demands a shift in the way we construct our work cultures. We must address the needs and perceptions of everyone in the organization. We need to make the workplace fulfilling enough to encourage Baby-Boomers to postpone retirement long enough to pass on what they know. We need to assuage inherent distrust and resulting lack of commitment of Generation X since they are next in line for the helm. We also need to create work environments that nurture the Millennial Generation so that they stay with us long enough to become effective day-after-tomorrow leaders

Savvy leaders are no longer looking at ways of getting people out of the office but we are looking at ways of making the office the place everyone wants to be. Work-life balance is now about balanced lives and the role organizations play in the lives of their associates. Companies are now realizing that in order to better insure their longevity and success, the human organizations that comprise them must become inclusive communities of engagement and commitment. And that means reworking our understanding of our corporate cultures.

So the essential myth about work-life balance that we must dispel is the perception that work and life are two opposing forces on a seesaw. There is no seesaw. There is no distinction between work and life. One does not counterbalance the other. The time clock is not a magic portal between two realities. Both sides are one reality for the person punching the clock. If we expect our companies to survive and thrive, we need to acknowledge and develop the kind of corporate culture that attracts and retains talented and skilled people, who form a cohesive and committed community with a common purpose, a community of engagement.

1. Be nice: The fact is that nice people are better liked and better liked people have it easier than those who make it difficult to like them.

2. Be positive: Negativity attracts negativity. Start complaining and you'll find plenty of company. Fortunately, the same holds true to being positive.

3. Avoid the gossip. Don't spread rumors. Don't join in on complaining about coworkers or your boss or working conditions or even the selection in the vending machines. Gossip breads discontent in the environment and in you as well.

4. Avoid gossipers. They might have a juicy tidbit to share with you but what are they saying about you to others?

5. Offer to help. If something isn't getting done properly or on time, offering to help accomplishes two things. The first is that it makes others aware that you are waiting in a way that is not offensive. The second is that you just might get what you need a little sooner. If needing to help becomes a constant, discuss it with your supervisor under the guise of your coworker being overworked.

6. Do what you can to make it easier for those whose work follows yours in the process chain. If you can save someone time or effort by alphabetizing something or resorting the data for their use or making a small extra effort to make the next step just a little easier, (even if you don't really like the person who benefits) the whole work environment can improve.

7. Please and Thank You are magic words. Use them often and mean them when you do.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker and consultant. His company, Integrity HPI, works with organizations making the work experience better for people and companies.