Forget About the Gym!

To look at me, you would never guess that I have been a member of a health club since 1989. That is because, with the exception of brief spurts of intense motivation, I almost never go. It is not so much that I dislike the activity but rather, getting there, changing my clothes, working out, showering, changing my clothes again and getting back into my routine take up way too much time out of my day. I simply cannot fit going to the gym into my schedule.

I am not alone. The best estimates that I can find on-line from a number of sources indicate that upwards of 70% of health club members never or rarely use their membership.

Most of us need to work. We would like to spend time with our spouses, family and friends. We may study. We may have a spiritual or community life. And then there is exercise. In the face of that sort of to-do list, what do we cut out?

Despite our better intentions, may of us cut out the exercise. We know that lack of sufficient exercise results in obesity, reduced cardio-vascular health, increased stress and even depression. We buy gym memberships we don’t use. Many of us own home exercise equipment that gathers dust. We swallow expensive supplements and subscribe to controlled food-delivery services. In the end, we make ourselves sick with guilt when none of it works and we are too ashamed of ourselves to take advantage of all those money-back guarantees.

In my quest for a balanced life, I have come to terms with the fact that exercising for sake of it is not a priority to me. I have done many of the subtle things commonly suggested to increase my activity. I park several extra blocks from my office. I choose parking spaces far from the store entrance. I take the stairs rather then the elevator. I sometimes spend my break time walking around the block. It is not enough!

Enter the humble toofer. A toofer is an activity that gives us double return on our investment of time and energy—the result of “two for” the investment of one. Toofers allow me to combine items on my to-do list and help me find some of that sought-for balance in life.

Take, for example, the task of getting the car washed. If you drive to the car wash, reaching for your wallet is about all the exercise you are going to get. But, if you wash the car by hand, you get a clean car as well as some exercise. That is a simple toofer. Add into the equation, all the money you save and you have double toofer. Wash the car by hand with the kids and the return goes through the roof! You get a clean car. You get exercise. You have some fun. You spend time with the kids. And you save a little money.

Toofers that help increase exercise are everywhere. All we need is a little imagination and some planning. Rather than going to the movies, consider taking a walking tour of a local neighborhood or a visit to the museum, art exhibit or zoo. You’ll get some exercise and learn something as well

Around the house, you might plant a vegetable garden, do some serious spring-cleaning, mow the lawn or paint a room. Volunteer for community clean-up day or build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Do any of these activities with family or friends and you exponentially increase the benefits.

I truly admire the folks at the gym with their chiseled athletic bodies. I wish I could go to the beach and not feel that I had somehow failed as a physical specimen. But I also know, beyond any doubt, that those people did not get those bodies from three twenty-minute workouts a week—no matter what the commercials say!

It takes real work and a lot of time to get a body like the ones we see in those commercials. I just do not have that kind of time. I would have to sacrifice another important facet of my life in order to spend that sort of time at the gym. So, I have forgotten all about the gym and the guilt for not going. As far as home exercise equipment goes, free weights make interesting stepping stones in the garden.

I’ll stick with the toofer. A little exercise is better than none. While I may not be an Adonis, my life is in better balance, I get exercise, have fun and get a few chores done in the bargain.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Trainer and Consultant. His company, Integrity HPI, is dedicated to making the American experience at work better for both individuals and companies. Through keynote talks, seminars, workshops and focused projects, he partners with organizations to develope an "employer of choice" work environment.

I need a SPAM filter for snail mail!

“We need a bigger mailbox!” proclaimed a friend as she came back to her kitchen, barely able to contain the mass of envelops and flyers clutched to her chest. She dumped the pile next to the hot biscuits and steaming coffee she had served me a few moments earlier. We chatted while she sorted her mail into three piles, one to keep, one to shred and one to recycle. “Gosh, look at this stuff. Why can’t there be a spam filter for snail mail?”

For the rest of our visit, the idea of a spam filter for snail mail lingered in the back of my mind. Think of the time and resources we waste picking through our mail looking for the important stuff like bills and statements. How often has a bill or important notice gone unheeded because it was lost in a pile of flyers, coupons and catalogs? In terms of living a balanced life, junk mail may not seem like much of a challenge but it is a needless and wasteful part of the equation that can be significantly minimized with a few simple steps.

A large percentage of junk mail consists of offers of credit based on our credit scores. Creditors buy mailing lists from the major credit reporting agencies and make blanket offers to every one who fits their profile. Since offers of credit are among the kinds of mail that should be shredded to foil dumpster diving identity thieves, why get them at all? Consumers can opt out of unsolicited offers of credit by visiting http://www.optoutprescreen.com or by calling (888) 5OPTOUT.

You can stop a lot of the advertising you receive by contacting the Direct Mail Preference Service. You can do this online at http://www.dmachoice.org. Reputable direct mail marketers are members of the Direct Mail Association and comply with the list.

Catalog Choice, http://www.catalogchoice.org, is a service that helps people unsubscribe to catalogs from merchants. Once you sign up you simply find the catalogs you receive and indicate that you no longer wish to receive them. They do the rest.

You may have to contact some mailers directly. Some of the flyers you receive don’t have a return address so look for the card that accompanies the flyers. The card has a return address. It also has numbers near your address that identify you as the recipient. Attach the card to a dated, signed letter requesting to be removed from all of their mailing lists. It may take a month or so to kick in because mailings are prepared in advance but it should work.

You may also wish to contact the charities you support and ask them not to share your information with other organizations. This will reduce the charitable requests you receive.

If you want to take the easy way out and hit as much of the direct mail community as you can in one stroke, a relatively nonprofit organization, http://www.41pounds.org promises to do the legwork for you for a basic fee of $41. They promise to eliminate up to 90% of your junk mail for five years.

Before you go out and buy a bigger mailbox to accommodate your snail mail spam, consider these few easy steps to drastically reduce your junk mail. You will save time, make fewer trips to the recycle center and save a few trees in the bargain.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Training and Consultant at Integrity HPI http://www.integrityhpi.com Please visit his website to learn more about his services.

Forget About the Gym!

To look at me, you would never guess that I have been a member of a health club since 1989. That is because, with the exception of brief spurts of intense motivation, I almost never go. It is not so much that I dislike the activity but rather, getting there, changing my clothes, working out, showering, changing my clothes again and getting back into my routine take up way too much time out of my day. I simply cannot fit going to the gym into my schedule.

I am not alone. The best estimates that I can find on-line from a number of sources indicate that upwards of 70% of health club members never or rarely use their membership.

Most of us need to work. We would like to spend time with our spouses, family and friends. We may study. We may have a spiritual or community life. And then there is exercise. In the face of that sort of to-do list, what do we cut out?

Despite our better intentions, may of us cut out the exercise. We know that lack of sufficient exercise results in obesity, reduced cardio-vascular health, increased stress and even depression. We buy gym memberships we don’t use. Many of us own home exercise equipment that gathers dust. We swallow expensive supplements and subscribe to controlled food-delivery services. In the end, we make ourselves sick with guilt when none of it works and we are too ashamed of ourselves to take advantage of all those money-back guarantees.

In my quest for a balanced life, I have come to terms with the fact that exercising for sake of it is not a priority to me. I have done many of the subtle things commonly suggested to increase my activity. I park several extra blocks from my office. I choose parking spaces far from the store entrance. I take the stairs rather then the elevator. I sometimes spend my break time walking around the block. It is not enough!

Enter the humble toofer. A toofer is an activity that gives us double return on our investment of time and energy—the result of “two for” the investment of one. Toofers allow me to combine items on my to-do list and help me find some of that sought-for balance in life.

Take, for example, the task of getting the car washed. If you drive to the car wash, reaching for your wallet is about all the exercise you are going to get. But, if you wash the car by hand, you get a clean car as well as some exercise. That is a simple toofer. Add into the equation, all the money you save and you have double toofer. Wash the car by hand with the kids and the return goes through the roof! You get a clean car. You get exercise. You have some fun. You spend time with the kids. And you save a little money.

Toofers that help increase exercise are everywhere. All we need is a little imagination and some planning. Rather than going to the movies, consider taking a walking tour of a local neighborhood or a visit to the museum, art exhibit or zoo. You’ll get some exercise and learn something as well.

Around the house, you might plant a vegetable garden, do some serious spring-cleaning, mow the lawn or paint a room. Volunteer for community clean-up day or build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Do any of these activities with family or friends and you exponentially increase the benefits.

I truly admire the folks at the gym with their chiseled athletic bodies. I wish I could go to the beach and not feel that I had somehow failed as a physical specimen. But I also know, beyond any doubt, that those people did not get those bodies from three twenty-minute workouts a week—no matter what the commercials say!

It takes real work and a lot of time to get a body like the ones we see in those commercials. I just do not have that kind of time. I would have to sacrifice another important facet of my life in order to spend that sort of time at the gym. So, I have forgotten all about the gym and the guilt for not going. As far as home exercise equipment goes, free weights make interesting stepping stones in the garden.

I’ll stick with the toofer. A little exercise is better than none. While I may not be an Adonis, my life is in better balance, I get exercise, have fun and get a few chores done in the bargain.

Tip: Change Your Perspective

There is an old, wooden roller coaster in Kennywood park just outside of Pittsburgh that is famous with coaster aficionados from around the world. Rather than beginning the ride with a climb up a clickity, clackity slope, the Thunderbolt plummets 95 feet into a natural gorge. If you don’t know what to expect, you never catch your breath for the entire ride. After the first shock, the brief respite during the next climb is completely undermined by anticipation of the next drop. I feel almost certain that whoever coined the phrase emotional roller coaster had the Thunderbolt in mind.

The element of surprise feeds a good deal of power into our emotional response to any event. Once in motion, we are like the riders of the Thunderbolt who find it difficult to compose themselves. Our bodies automatically begin to produce and react to natural chemicals that make clear thinking difficult. Time and emotional distance are required before we can benefit from hindsight and realize that it wasn’t as bad as it had seemed.

Early in my career, I lived with a young family in New York. One warm summer evening, as we were taking a walk, the family’s little girl, Iris, was suddenly taken by a fit of frantic hysterics. Through gut-wrenching sobs she explained that she had lost her ring.

When Iris realized that the ring was gone, she was on the emotional version of the Thunderbolt. All of the natural reactions to stress, fear, loss, and grief came into play. It took considerable intervention to get her off that ride. It took her father picking her up and holding her tight. Her mother caressed her head and murmured comforting words. There were promises of a new ring, candy and ice-cream treats, and trips to the park.

To the adults, the value of that ring was negligible. On a practical level, it was a worthless piece of plastic that had come out of a gumball machine earlier in the day. To Iris, on the other hand, it meant so much more. Imagine the anticipation she must have felt when she turned the knob on the gumball machine and the excitement when that treasure of great beauty fell into her palm. Imagine too, how putting it on had made her feel beautiful and special.

Iris was only four years old. She couldn’t possibly have distanced herself enough to realize that the ring was just a piece of plastic, one of hundreds in that machine that would still be there the next day. She’d never be able to comprehend that the loss of that her ring was really insignificant compared to some of the others that she would experience later in life. Now that she is a grown woman with children of her own, I doubt that she even remembers the fateful day when that terrible tragedy struck.

Oh that we could learn this one lesson in life! This story isn’t just a cute tale of a sweet little girl in a pinafore dress with ribbons in her hair. It illustrates an essential truth. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Real tragedies happen on a daily basis but people survive them, sometimes miraculously unscathed. We marvel at the stories of survival and success after life shattering events like hurricanes, earthquakes and tornados. How much more are we likely to survive a missed deadline at work, an argument with a family member or a scratch on our new car?

It all comes down to perspective. For adults; perspective is a matter of choice. Upsetting events are an unavoidable part of life. Yet, we are often as easily traumatized as a four year old girl at the loss of a gumball machine ring.

Our reactions under those circumstances can be devastating. People have quit jobs, ended friendships, torn up contracts, separated from spouses and even committed acts of violence out of later regretted fits of emotion. The consequences of these actions are usually far more reaching than those of the event itself. Most of the injuries suffered in an earthquake aren’t from things falling on people but result from panic as people try to run away from perceived danger.

However, when we recognize the emotion as simply a reaction to an event or a circumstance, we immediately put some distance between our reaction and the event itself. That distance, whether expressed in time or space, allows us to more easily benefit from the perspective of hindsight.

Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to on hundred.” The principal works whether you are experiencing anger, frustration, fear, embarrassment or grief. If we distance ourselves from the moment and our immediate reaction, we might realize that things are not as bad as they seem and we might be able to react in a more appropriate manner.

But how? Here are some suggestions:

Count to ten. Take Jefferson’s advice to heart. When you count to ten, you do two things at once. You give yourself a moment before you react and you focus your attention on something trivial and inconsequential. In context, your situation may also seem less portentous.

Remind yourself that everything is going to be all right. These are the words we use to comfort others, why not comfort ourselves with them. Things may not be the same but they will be all right.

Don’t allow yourself to relive the event in your mind. Ruminating over an event only feeds and develops the emotion of it and reacting out of emotion is the real danger.

Go to the restroom. You may not be able to ignore an event but most of the time an immediate reaction isn’t necessary. Just walking into another room may be enough to trigger a change of perspective.

Distract yourself for a little while. If you need more than a few moments to compose yourself and get things into perspective, pick up a book or magazine. Play a game on the computer. Brush your teeth. Take out the trash. Clean your office. Pray or meditate. Go to the gym. Take a walk in the park. The situation may still be there later but you’ll be in a better mind to deal with it.

Remember the positive side. There are pros and cons to everything in life. When we are feeling down about something, we are focused on the cons. Try making a list of the pros. When you hate your job, think of the reasons why you like it. When you are angry with someone, remind yourself of his or her good qualities. When feeling grief, remember good times.

Look for the humor in the situation. The career of many comics depends on pointing out how silly we are when we take ourselves and the lives we live too seriously.

The amazing thing about the Thunderbolt is that once you know what to expect, it is a very exciting ride. People come from all over the world to experience it. We know that life is full of ups and downs. Aren’t we better off if we simply enjoy the ride?