Putting Life in Perspective

Monkey Bars and Other Life Obstacles

2009-05-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

I’ll never forget one of my first Boy Scout camping trips. It was kind a mini jamboree with several troops camping in proximity to one another. There were lots of kids, tents, campfires and fun stuff to do.

One of the activities they scheduled for us was an obstacle course which wound its way through a playground and made use of the equipment. We walked on see saws, climbed up slippery slides, jogged through tires and traversed the monkey bars.

For most kids, monkey bars are fun but as a chubby kid, I was never good at them and these were especially bad because for extra motivation, the ground beneath them had been soaked into mud. Boys will be boys.

Standing in line waiting for my monkey bar humiliation, I mentally grasped at ways of getting out of it. Could I fane a stomach ache? No, that would get me sent home. Could I swing out far enough to avoid being covered with mud for two days? No, the puddle was formidable in size. There were only two choices ahead. I could demonstrate unsportsmanlike like behavior and whine my way out of the monkey bars or I could give it a go and, baring a miracle, fall to the mud in disgrace. I chose to face my doom.

As I climbed the ladder toward the cross section, inspiration flooded my soul and I came up with the answer. They said I had to get across this obstacle, but they did not say how. Instead of hanging and swinging from arm to arm, I opted to climb up and walk across the top, thus saving my nicely ironed uniform from muddy degradation.

Of course I was teased and heckled. But the ruling fell in my favor and a couple of fat kids in line behind me followed suit. I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life. As long as we fail to confront obstacles, they loom large and daunting. Once confronted, we are able to see our way to a resolution.

Over the years, I’ve seen the same obstacles come back at different times, under unexpected circumstances and in different forms. It is as if the obstacles in my life were uniquely designed for me to confront and conquer. Life is kind of a giant custom designed obstacle course in which we confront challenges and learn, to conquer them. We can choose to either see life and its obstacles as either a big game or as a tedious exercise. And it is that decision that factors into whether we spend our lives laughing or crying.

It does not really matter how we choose to confront those obstacles as long as we face them. I could have gone home from that camping trip, lifted weights, gone on a diet and practiced until I could cross those monkey bars in the traditional way. Instead, I used innovation and faced taunting for bucking the system and being labeled as rebellious or different. (A life lesson of its own.) Neither strategy is necessarily more right than the other. If I had understood the importance of life balance back then, I probably would have done both. It would have helped me later in other ways that I could not see at the time like when my gym teacher insisted we do chin-ups or climb a rope to the rafters of the gym.

Obstacles by nature come back again and again like hurdles on a track. To mangle a quote from W.C. Fields, the only fish that get to float downstream are the dead ones. It takes a live one to swim.

So how do you see obstacles? Do you whine about the thorn in your side or see them as an opportunity to learn something new and try something else? If you stumble or fall, will you get up and try again or will you limp off to the sidelines and whine about how long or hard the game is? The next time you are confronted by an obstacle, try greeting it like an old and familiar opponent in a game that has been designed especially for you.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant working with organizations to cultivate an "employer of choice" work environment. Visit his website at http://www.integrityhpi.com to learn more about Joseph and his work.

Divorce Your Debt: Five Alternatives

2009-03-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

Debt, particularly the kind that comes from credit cards, can leave consumers on a sort of hamster wheel, paying, paying and paying and never getting anywhere. While most people use their cards meaning to pay their debts, bad decisions, a struggling economy or unexpected expenses can derail the best of intentions. Unfortunately, when it comes to debt, it isn’t the thought that counts.

Eventually, most people on that hamster wheel realize the futility and will do just about anything to get off. It is important to understand the alternatives.

DIY debt reduction is a plan in which consumers strive to reduce or eliminate their debt on their own. In its simplest form, a DIY plan must employ two criteria to work. Consumers must stop using credit and they have to pay more than the minimum amount due each month. A DIY plan requires a lot of discipline and belt-tightening but it will work, though it may take years longer than most people think.

Add on a few details to the plan and it can work more quickly. By paying at the beginning of billing cycles, one saves a bit of interest and is never in danger of late fees. Over paying by at least 20% will significantly affect the principal debt. The more money paid early in the process, the sooner it will be over but the most dramatic results may not be visible for quite a while.

Transferring Balances or shifting debt from one credit card to another may provide temporary relief and help jumpstart a DIY plan. Combined with very aggressive payments, that little interest rate break may last long enough to help people get back on track. Unless there is a real DIY plan, however, transferring balances just postpones the inevitable. The introductory interest rates are temporary; sometimes barely lasting six months. One must consider the subsequent interest rate if the debt cannot be paid entirely during the period of the introductory offer.

There are also lots of snares and traps associated with balance transfers. The ways the interest is calculated, the method the creditor uses to classify balances and how payments are applied could end up costing the consumer much more than imagined. Additionally, penalties in the forms of fees or interest rate hikes if the consumer is even a day late with a payment can make the balance transfer a really bad decision.

Debt Consolidation is often the first alternative people think of but is unavailable to most consumers. Consolidation is supplied by a bank and is usually associated with a line of credit or a loan based on home equity. If a consumer does not have assets and equity, there is no loan.

Paying off high-interest rate credit cards with a lower interest rate mortgage makes sense on several levels. The lower interest rate, easier payments and the ability to deduct the interest from taxable income are enticing. However, default on the loan can result in the loss of a consumer’s home instead of mere credit report damage on unpaid, unsecured debt. Lengthening the payback time on the debt may reduce payments but additional months or years of interest really add up. And there is always the potential of running up those now empty card balances again.

Debt Management is when an agency, usually a non-profit company, contacts a consumer’s creditors and requests interest rate and minimum payment reductions which are significant enough to help the consumer effectively pay the debt in a reasonable time frame. These agencies have standing agreements with most creditors and if the consumer is in arrears, the proposals for payment plans are often accepted. The debt management agency will also consolidate payments so that the consumer makes one large payment each month to the agency which is then distributed to the creditors. Fees often apply and a consumer is required to stop using credit entirely. Debt management also maintains the damage to credit reports that first prompted the need for help. Even with generous creditor concessions, it can take years to pay off the debt.

Debt Settlement must be accomplished by experienced negotiators who approach a consumer’s creditors and negotiate a reduced balance. Debt settlement requires considerable knowledge of consumer rights and a clear understanding of the credit card industry. The consumer will pay less on the debt but often has to pay all at once. (Sometimes payment plans can be established but usually this involves additional loans which are secured with assets.) The consumer will also pay a steep fee to the settlement company. Credit report damage remains to the legal limit and all forgiven debt becomes taxable income; so Uncle Sam gets his cut next April.

Bankruptcy comes in a number of forms. Most often consumers are guided to either Chapter 13 or Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Chapter 13 is a court ordered version of debt management and many who file for Chapter 13 eventually re-file for Chapter 7. Chapter 7 is when the court orders that included debt be discharged entirely. The consumer is given a fresh start with a credit report that is severely damaged for ten years.

Filing for Chapter 7 does not automatically guarantee that debts will be discharged. Consumers would be well advised to seek the advice and guidance of a reputable and experienced attorney who specializes in bankruptcy.

Getting advice is often difficult because it seems that everyone who knows enough to give it also has something to sell. With the exception of the DIY plan, attempting to do any of them on one’s own can make matters much worse.

When creditors are alerted to a possibly defaulting debt, they will, of course, act and speak in their own interest. They may revoke credit making the entire balance due immediately. They may reduce credit limits far below the outstanding balance, charging over-the-limit fees until the balance is significantly reduced. They may raise interest rates and increase minimum payments. They may even sell accounts off to collection agencies which will assuredly be much more aggressive than the original creditors and which are more likely to actually take the legal action they threaten.

A common mistake consumers make in choosing one method over the other is they base their decision on emotions more than understanding the practical solution that best fits their situation. They wish to be ethical without understanding the ethics of the credit world. They worry about their credit reports without knowing how credit reports work. They fear not having their credit cards because they do not know how to live without them or within their means.

Education is key to our decision but second best is advice from a certified, and reputable, financial counselor—not a financial adviser who focuses on investments. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) provides a website feature to help locate reputable certified counselors. These counselors all work for debt management agencies under the governance and standards of the NFCC and are a consumer’s best bet for reliable advice.

Joseph Onesta is speaker, trainer and work culture consultant. As former Director of Education for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he has helped tens of thousands of consumers along the path to financial wellness through education seminars, workshops and publications. To learn more about his services, visit his website at www.integrityhpi.com.

Stop the Insanity--Eat, Breath & Move

2009-03-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

Susan Powter was right!

Spend just an hour watching television and count how many commercials advertise, exercise equipment, diet pills, face creams, hair-loss remedies, new medications for diseases we never knew existed and herbal supplements to enhance male potency. For all our obsessions, we Americans are an amazingly obese, disease-ridden society that worries itself into an early grave.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant. His company, Integrity HPI, works with organizations to help build and maintain and "employer of choice" work environment. For more information about Joseph Onesta or his company, visit his website at http:www.integrityhpi.com

In the 90’s buzz-cut, Susan Powter, shouted her message of “Stop the Insanity. What you have to do is eat, breath and move.” It comes down to that. (She's still around... http://www.susanpowteronline.com )

If we are going to pursue a balanced life, we have to make room for taking care of our bodies. After all, we can’t have a balanced life if we have no life to balance. And, we all know how simple physical discomfort, things like hangnails and paper cuts, can distract us from absolutely everything else. In balancing our lives, we have to consider our bodies.

Drastic lifestyle changes are almost always doomed to failure. We’ve proven it again and again. We buy gym memberships we never use. We buy proportioned food plans that we eat in less than half the time they are supposed to last. Our basements are filled with unused exercise equipment and our cupboard shelves are lined bottles of herbal supplements we don’t take.

There are, however, some simple things we can do to grow healthier by the day. Based on average American lifestyle and diet, not all of these recommendations will apply to every individual. Choose the ones that best apply to your life.

EAT

We eat for lots of reasons but biologically, there are only two. We need fuel and we need nutrition. In looking to improve our diet, the devil is in the details. The more complicated we make it, the less likely we are to follow through but some simple principles can go a long way.

The average American diet is heavily laden with salt, fat, processed sugars, chemicals and empty calories. Nutrition labels have to exist because our processed food products are designed to taste good, stay on the shelves for a long time and be cheap to manufacture. Apart from supplying empty calories, processed foods often provide little else. In fact what nutrition there may be has often been added to the product after processing has removed the natural nutrients.

So, read labels! You should know what you are eating. They often betray outrageous levels of fat, salt and processed sugars which are major contributors to some of the most common yet deadly conditions in American culture—obesity, high-blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease and diabetes. The chemicals are probably tied to cancer in more ways than one, we just either can’t prove it or powerful lobbies keep the information out of our hands. Look how long it took the tobacco industry to admit that smoking is addictive and causes lung cancer.

The contents of food products are listed in order of quantity. The first few words may be frightening enough but keep reading. If you start getting into words you do not recognize or cannot pronounce, you are likely among chemical additives for consistency, color or preservation. The word “artificial” is a definite chemical indicator. It does not take much mental power to understand that eating an apple picked from a tree is better for you than drinking apple flavored beverage most of which is chemical additives and processed sugars.

Don’t be fooled by the words “natural flavors” either. If there were natural foods in there, they would be listed in the contents. The so-called natural flavors can just as likely include the odd bug that falls into the vat during processing.

Eating more fresh fruit and vegetables would be a dramatic improvement for many of us and if we go with certified organic produce, we avoid consuming chemicals which have been applied as fertilizers and pesticides. Salad is nice but be careful about the dressing. Eating more whole grains will increase our fiber and add natural nutrition. Think twice before picking up the butter knife or salt shaker.

Consider cooking and eating at home more. If you have ever been to a restaurant supply store, you know that it is filled with processed food as are most restaurant kitchens. The only difference is the size of the packaging.

BREATHE

Unless you live in Bangkok or Los Angeles, chances are the air outside is better than the air inside. Get out into the countryside and breathe some good fresh air. In your daily routine, consider some deep breathing exercises to expand your lungs.

When I was in the hospital recovering from spinal surgery, every once in a while, a beeping machine would bring a nurse who would instruct me to breathe deeply. Apparently one of the cords attached to my body alerted her to the fact that my tissues were not getting enough oxygen. A few deep breaths rectified the problem. I find that amazing!

Most of us do not think about breathing. After all, we do it constantly and unintentionally. Who would think that such a simple thing as conscious deep breathing could make such a difference in our health? This also sheds a new light on smoking, does it not? Cancer may be slow in coming but what about all that oxygen depleted breathing you are doing? If you smoke, stop. If you hang around with smokers, don’t.

MOVE

Have you heard? Your local gym is having a membership sale. Buying a membership won’t do you any good unless actually go several times a week and do more than sit in the Jacuzzi. If going to the gym fits your life, go. But you don’t need a membership to get some exercise. Just get up and move. Walk to the corner and back. Take the stairs at the office. Wash your own car. Take a walk in the woods. When you go to the pool, get in and swim rather than just bobbing around a looking at the people in their bathing suits wishing you were thinner. Small changes can make a big difference, even parking in the space farthest from the entrance to the donnut shop! Just move more.

Though we are lured by the promise of miracle supplements, magic weight pills, youth in a jar of cream and perfect health and vigor in a capsule, they are all snake oil compared to the simple straightforward advice of someone like Susan Powter. We need to eat, breathe and move.

Dumbest Things People Do With Credit Cards

2009-02-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

As our economy appears to be passing through some of the darkest times since the 1929 stock market crash, almost all of us are faced with juggling our assets and liabilities. Unfortunately some of us may make some pretty dire mistakes with our credit cards. These mistakes can only harm us in the long-run. Try to avoid them.

Taking cash advances to make ends meet. The interest rate on cash advance balances is often astronomical compared to your regular interest rate. You may notice that your payments are applied in a way that makes it difficult to pay off the cash advance balance without paying off the whole card.

Using credit card “checks” to pay bills. Be real careful about those checks your creditors send you from time to time. The temporary interest rate seems appealing but what will it be when the trial period runs out? Also there are transaction fees associated with those checks that may significantly offset the discounted rates on offer. Read the fine print and ask questions before using them.

Borrowing from one card to pay another. This is a bad sign and if you are doing this you need to see a credit professional pronto. Borrowing from one credit card, whether using a credit card check or getting a cash advance, to pay another is like paying compounded interest on the same debt twice. Your debt moves from creditor to creditor but at an ultimately much higher rate.

Making partial payments. If your payment is even one dollar short of the minimum, your credit card company will consider your account delinquent. Creditors do not consider your effort or sacrifice in sending as much as you could. It was still not enough. Late fees will apply and you if you don’t catch up before the next statement is printed, your delinquency will show up on your credit report.

Paying just a few days late. Your creditor isn’t looking at the postmark on your payment. If your payment doesn’t arrive and post on time, you are late. Fees apply. Let the account go more than 30 days late and you are looking at remarks on your credit report for seven years. Paying late may also come with other penalties such as reduced credit limits and higher interest rates on existing balances.

If you are already on a credit card treadmill, the faulting economy may well be the proverbial straw to break the camel’s back. Seek help from a certified financial counselor. The National Foundation for Counseling can put you in contact with a reputable nearby counselor. Ask the counselor to explain all your options and the consequences of each before you decide.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker and consultant with Integrity HPI. As former Director of Education and Training at Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he authored a personal finance certificate course and has helped tens of thousands of individuals and family along the road to financial wellbeing. Visit his website at www.integrityhpi.com for more information and to subscribe to his free Balanced Life Tips e-newsletter.

Money Smart Kids: Ten Things You Should Teach Your Kids About Money

2009-02-05T07:46:00.000-08:00

As good parents, we strive to give our children the best opportunities for success. However, when it comes to understanding how money works, many parents are doing a miserable job. National surveys conducted by the Jump$tart Coalition show that the majority of high school seniors fail the test when it comes to even simple money skills. Why?

Some parents undoubtedly feel inadequate to teach their kids about money because they struggle with their own finances. Others may think that money management skills are obvious and easy. Perhaps others simply want to shield their children from concerns about money and other harsh realities of life. Finally, there are perhaps a few others who wish to maintain one of the last vestiges of control they have as their kids careen through their teenage years.

You do not have to be a financial wizard to pass on sound money skills to your kids. If you ask me, you are doing them damage if you do not teach them how to manage their money. So, even if you feel like you need to learn more before attempting to help your kids become money wise, here are some sound principles that will help them stay on the healthy side of their wallets for the rest of their lives. You may find yourself learning along with them.

Money comes from work, not the ATM. Unless you come from a long line of super wealthy people, you probably have to work for the money you get. It does not magically appear out of cash machines. However, for most kids, the experience is the opposite. They have not had to work. All they need to do is ask. Kids really benefit from understanding that Mom or Dad, most likely both, have to work very hard for the money that that the family spends. Someday, they will have to go to work to get their own money. Help them understand that doing well in school will help them get a better paying job.

As kids get older, it is all right to exchange cash for extra work. Offer them opportunities to earn the money they need for the things that they want. It’s not good to pay them to do things that they will have to do for free for the rest of their lives like make their beds or clean up their rooms. It certainly wouldn’t hurt them to wash the car or cut the grass for a little cash.

You can’t have everything you want. We have only a limited amount of money every month. After we use that money to buy something, we have less money to spend on other things. Consequently, the number of ways we can choose to spend the remaining money is reduced. If we use our money to buy candy today, we may not have enough left to go to the movies tomorrow. We should think about and plan how we are going to use our money before we start spending it.

When kids are learning to manage an allowance, tell them how it is to be used. Give them financial responsibility for entertainment, clothes, music, cosmetics whatever they spend money on. Avoid constantly bailing them out of tight money situations if or when they overspend. They might miss a movie or two but they’ll learn how to manage.

Buy the stuff you need before you buy the stuff you that you want. Since we have limited amounts of money, some of the things we buy are more important than others because we need them. When making a plan for spending our money, we make sure we buy the things we need before we start spending money on the things we want. We buy school supplies and clothes before toys and candy. Mom and Dad do this as well. We make sure the rent or mortgage is paid before we start spend money on a vacation.

Some people have more money than other people and consequently, they have more stuff. Perhaps they are paid more for their work or they work more hours than others. There will always be other kids with bigger, better, newer things. Children need to see those differences and learn how to cope with them. Having more stuff does not make one person better than another person. It is all right to have less than someone else. If we have more that others, we should share.

Sharing is fun. If we have stuff that other people do not have, we can share it with them and enjoy it together. Part of the joy of owning something is sharing the experience of using it. Owning a barbeque or big screen television is more fun when we invite family and friends over to share them. Sometimes other people will have things that we do not have and they might like to share them with us.

We save up to get bigger stuff. When we do not have enough money to buy something we want today, we can decide to not spend our money on other things until we have enough to buy it. Being willing to sacrifice other things and save perhaps for a long time, just shows us how much we really want that expensive item. Sometimes, after all the sacrificing and saving, we realize we really did not want the item as much as we thought we did and we do not buy it. This kind of experience helps us be more judicious about purchases in the future.

Help your children make these kinds of choices and follow through with the denial and the reward. If they choose to give up a toy or a treat to help get something bigger later, let them make the sacrifice. You may frequently have to remind your children of the choice but let them make it and stick to your guns.

Borrowing makes things cost more. If, instead of saving, we borrow money to buy bigger stuff sooner, we have to pay more because the person lending the money gets something out of the deal. Banks, credit cards and even parents can charge interest. We may have to work a long time to pay the money back. That money could be spent on other things that we must now do without because of our debt.

Many parents understandably have difficulty charging their children interest but if you allow them to “borrow” against their allowance, you can make this idea stick by allowing them to experience what it is like to do without until their debt is paid.

Generosity has its limits. It is good to be generous with others. However, we may be hurting our family if we spend or give money that we need in order to be generous with someone else. When we really want to be generous and that generosity requires a sacrifice on our part, we should only sacrifice things we want, not things we need.

Charity and helping out the less fortunate is a prevailing cultural norm in America of which we should be rightfully proud. Americans are the first to send help in a disaster. Our children, however, need help keeping generosity in perspective.

It is also important to help them understand that not everyone manages their money as well as we do. While we like to be kind and generous, we cannot make up for the lack of others when it comes to managing money. If our friends spend all their money on ice cream, we shouldn’t take money out of our savings to pay their way into the movies.

Saving is automatic. We save because that is what we do. Saving for the future should be a habit. Ten percent of everything we earn should automatically go into the bank. We do not need to know what we will buy with it. We do not need to know how we will spend it. We just do it because that is what we do with money. The day may come when we really need that cash and when we do, we will recognize it and be glad of our savings.

Advertising is not real. When kids see commercials for new toys or products, they really want the feeling or the fun those items appear to bring to the kids in the commercial. It is good to discuss with your children how much fun they would really have with that item. The kids in the commercial are actors. They are working and being paid to have fun with that product. Would we have as much fun? We buy something because it will meet our needs or we will enjoy it, not because kids in a commercial appeared to have fun or other kids at school have one already.

Even if your children grow up to have seven figure incomes, money skills will be the key to their financial security, success and even their self-esteem. No matter how much they earn, they will have learned skills that will help them be happy and get the things that they want.

Debt Free: Seven Steps to Reduce and Eliminate Credit Card Debt

2009-01-20T07:11:00.000-08:00

Credit cards are a convenient way of not having to carry wads of cash to make purchases and, in the short term, they can help consumers take advantage purchasing options when cash flow and amazing sales do not match up. Using credit in the right way can greatly enhance the quality of our lives.

Unfortunately many people are far too liberal with credit card use. Using credit cards to buy things one cannot afford or to artificially maintain a standard of living that does not match one’s income may be fun for a while but are disastrous in the long run.

Most consumers do not really understand the cost of using their credit cards. Being able to afford the payments does not mean that one can actually afford the purchase. Using credit cards and making minimum payments can double or even triple the cost of a purchase because those payments mostly cover interest charges. That means a twenty-dollar pizza paid for on a credit card might end up costing sixty bucks!

Consumers who unwisely use credit quickly discover they are on a credit card treadmill. It doesn’t take long before most of their cash becomes tied up in making payments on their cards. There isn’t cash left to live on and when they use up the cards they have, they apply for more, either requesting limit increases or applying for new cards. Reality only begins to set in when their credit applications are eventually denied.

If you are beginning to recognize the credit card treadmill in your life, it may not be too late. But do not wait. What may just be a tank of gas here or a bag of groceries there will quickly become an all out inability to afford even the basic necessities of life without credit.

If you take decisive action now, you will not only save your credit report, you will save thousands of dollars and in the long-run; you will save your quality of life. Here is what you need to do.

1. Stop using most of your cards. OK, your heart just sank. Take a minute and breathe. You may have to tighten your belt a little and sacrifice in order to do stop relying on credit but if you don’t do it now, it will be done to you eventually. Realize that for as long as you have been using your credit cards, you have been borrowing against your future income. It has always been predictable that you would have to sacrifice spending cash on stuff you might want later because you used credit to buy stuff you wanted earlier. Maybe you never thought of it this way but that is exactly what you did.

2. Carry only ONE card and pay it off each month. You can still have the convenience of using a credit card without the expensive interest. Simply do not use the card unless you have the cash in the bank to pay it off when the statement arrives. If you do not carry a balance from month to month, there should not be any interest to pay. If there is, get rid of that card!

3. Pay more than the minimum. Making the minimum payments means paying the most interest. When you are actively reducing your debt, you should over pay the minimum balance due by least 20%. If you do this and do not use the card, you will be applying the additional payment to the principal balance due and you will reduce your debt. Walletwizard.com offers a free, easy to use form that helps do this with more than one credit card.

4. Pay bills when they arrive, not when they are due. Most credit card interest is based on your Average Daily Balance. The sooner you make a payment, the lower the balance and the less you will pay over time. You also avoid the possibility penalties in the form of late fees and the interest rate increases that may result from your payment arriving after the due date.

5. Be careful transferring balances. If you have good credit, you are probably receiving offers to transfer your other balances to a new account. In general, applying for more credit is a bad idea because of the danger of using your old cards after transferring the balance. Sometimes those introductory rates are awfully tempting! Before you apply, carefully read and understand the terms of the new card. How long will that introductory interest rate last? What do you have to do to maintain that rate? What interest rate will kick in after the introductory rate expires?

6. Create and maintain a spending plan. Have a clear understanding of your income and expenses. You have to live within your means. In fact, for a time, you will have to live below your means in order to pay off your debt. Tighten your belt a little more and throw as much money at your debt as is sustainably possible.

7. If you need help, get it; but beware. If you watch television, you see countless commercials for debt solutions promising to reduce your interest rates, consolidate your payments, or even pay less than you owe. Before you opt for any of these advertised solutions you need to understand your options. Carefully consider the terms, the associated fees, and the consequences, particularly to your credit report. If it sounds too good to be true, there is likely something you do not understand about the program.

If you are having difficulties associated with credit card debt, doing nothing will only make things worse. Acting now to reduce and even eliminate your credit card debt is one of the best things you can do for a brighter financial future.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and work culture consultant. As Director of Education for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he helped thousands of individuals and families toward financial wellness through articles, seminars and his personal finance certificate course. He now offers his services through employers who understand the value of Personal Finance Employee Education. Visit his website at www.integrityhpi.com.

Steps of Faith....

2009-01-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

At the root of all of the practical considerations and obligations we juggle day to day, lay four essential aspects of an individual’s life. They are the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual parts of our lives and as we proceed, we learn that finding balance between these four is our critical challenge. When we think of balancing our lives we often consider what we can do to achieve better balance. A lot of our talk is about steps we can take.

While most often considered a spiritual force, it is not reserved for religious purposes. When we take a step in faith, we are using an internal power that has the potential to change everything. We should use it wisely.

On a recent channel surf through my cable selections, I happened upon one of those now ubiquitous weight loss programs which focus on extremely obese people and their struggle to lose weight. The show featured a woman who, with evidence of before and after photos, demonstrated that before she had children, she was young and svelte. After giving birth her busy life working and caring for her children lead to gaining a pound here and there. Eventually she was so fat a film crew became interested in her. She blamed her obesity on having children.

I do not discount the weight women gain in pregnancy. Nor do I minimize the effort required to lose that weight after childbirth. My point is that to blame her obesity on having children completely discounts the fifteen or twenty years of emotions, attitudes and behaviors that are more likely the cause of her obesity. She has placed herself in a kind of prison, the bars of which are created by her own belief.

When she acts on that belief, she is, in a very powerful way, taking a step of faith. Faith does not necessarily imply God at the other end of it. Certainly, adhering to religious principals is an act of faith but faith and religion are two different things. Faith is a human tool that we all use. Every time we act or react because we believe something, we are stepping in faith. Tightrope walkers, for example, step out onto the rope believing that they can and will cross the rope safely. Their belief is well-founded on the hours of practice they have had but every tightrope walker is aware of the potential danger of falling. They simply do not believe that they will fall. If they believed that they were going to fall, they would never step out onto the rope.

The unfortunate thing for a lot of religious folks is that they associate faith with God or a miracle from God and leave it at that. There is a very real reason why many people ask God for a miracle and never get it. Faith itself is the miracle they are waiting for. When we learn to use faith appropriately, we unleash a power, call it spiritual if you like, that enables us to achieve our goals and aspirations.

When we are willing to take risks, however we define them; it is because we believe something is either possible or impossible. The trick is discerning the difference between what we know to be true and what we think or feel is true.

Some people think you need courage to take risks. That is not true. You need courage to face danger. You need faith to take risks. Risk and danger are two different things and so are faith and courage. It takes courage to run into a burning building to save a child. It takes faith to believe you can do it at all.

Every time I step in front of an audience, I act in faith believing that the audience will benefit from my speech, enjoy my performance and my client will consider my fee to be money well spent. It is like walking out on a tightrope. I have plenty of practice but the possibility of my failing is there. So, public speaking is a kind of risk I am willing to take.

It is easy to see faith involved in actively taking risks. We also need to see that faith is equally involved in not taking them and this is ultimately the point I am at pains to make. When we decide to not do something it is often because we believe that we will fail. In some cases, that is good. I will never step out on a tightrope since I am absolutely convinced I would fall off. That being said, what achievable goals or dreams am I avoiding simply because I have an unfounded, even irrational belief in failure?

If there is an aspect of our lives with which we are growing uncomfortable, if anything at all is going to change, we need to pay attention to what it is we believe about it. Once we clear up what we believe about the things we would like to change, the most formidable obstacles are gone.

It may sound like hocus pocus, psychobabble or even new age religion but the truth is that we act as a result of what we believe. We live our lives doing some things, avoiding others and likely wishing we could someday do still others all because of what we believe about the world, about other people and about ourselves and yes, even what we believe about God. Those beliefs may or may not be factual but we make them real to us.

We all have a spiritual side to our lives. It is that part of us that helps us cope with the unknown and, within the context of our own lives, the unknowable. Science gnaws away at the unknown but any honest scientist will admit that there is a lot we do not know. Until we know absolutely everything that is knowable, we will continue to take steps of faith, acting or not acting based on what we believe to be true.

So we are all stuck with faith of one sort or another. Faith is not something you can create, build up or muster but it is a natural part of being human. We act on it every day. Along our journey to find happiness, balance and purpose in life, we would do well to consider what it is we believe about every situation, condition or obstacle we face.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant. He publishes a free e-newsletter called Balanced Life. His company, Integrity HPI partners with companies to develop an "employer of choice" work environment.

Forget About New Year Resolutions!

2008-12-16T08:27:00.001-08:00

There is nothing less life changing than a New Year Resolution. What may seem like an ideal time for change is an exceptionally bad choice. Most of us break our resolutions a few days, if not a few hours into the New Year. The problem is not only in our timing but in the resolutions themselves. We think we know what we want but…

Among the most common resolutions, getting fit or loosing weight is near the top of the list. Just under that is quitting some vice like smoking or drinking. And bringing up the rear is getting out of debt. What worse time of year could a person choose to attempt any of these goals? One party comes after another. Cookies, cakes and candy are everywhere. Drinking and smoking seem to go so well together, many of us cannot do one without the other. And, on average, holiday shopping adds between $900 and $1,500 worth of credit card debt to our financial woes.

It is no wonder that most resolutions are kaput as soon as the ball falls in Time Square. No sooner do we finish with that New Year kiss, we begin rationalizing a better time to start our resolutions. Tomorrow, that’s it, I’ll start tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes or if it does, it brings new excuses with it. Resolutions tend to be more life damaging than life changing. Many of us begin our new year with more failure and guilt than we do with purpose and good intention. So stop the madness.

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” In other words, we want to be happy. When we choose our resolutions, we do so because we think that achieving those goals, whatever they may be, will bring happiness with them. It is the happiness we want.

Do not bother with resolutions until you know what you are doing. No one thing or condition can make us happy or unhappy. You have heard the adage that money won’t buy happiness. The opposite is equally true. The lack of money won’t buy unhappiness. Evidence of this fundamental truth is all around us. Embrace it.

So, before we start listing the things we want to change about our lives, we should spend a little time thinking about happiness--not about what we think will make us happy but about when we are aware of being happy.

If, as Aristotle asserted, we are truly looking for happiness, we should look for it where it already exists, not where we think it should be. Happiness is not trying to elude us as if we were playing a cosmic game of hide and seek. It is right there. Ask yourself these questions: When do I feel the greatest joy, satisfaction or the sense of accomplishment? When am I filled with warmth, love and kindness? When am I most confident and proud of myself? The answers to these questions will tell you more about yourself and your true happiness than success at any New Year Resolution.

I am not suggesting we content ourselves with our lot in life. We all have aspects of our lives which could use a little work but far too often, we work on the wrong things. We are driven by advertisers who suggest we will be happier if we were thinner, better looking, younger, sexier, more successful or more powerful. Why do we persist in believing that such things will make us happy when there is so much evidence to the contrary?

Perhaps this is why so many people are obsessed with Hollywood gossip. We somehow feel a perverted sense of satisfaction when people, whom we think of as having everything, fail to be happy. For heaven’s sake, look at Oprah--a wonderful person, loving, interested in the well-being of others, extremely successful, the epitome of Hollywood power. Let her gain a few pounds and we pounce on her like a pride of hungry lions. We thirst after the reason why that woman is not living in absolute bliss!

When we recognize our real happiness, we more clearly see the things in life that we have allowed to act as barriers to our prolonged and pervasive contentment. We may, for example, realize that we are happy when dancing and we might think that losing a bit of weight will help us spend more time on the dance floor. More often is the case that more time on the dance floor results in our losing weight! You see, the real barrier is not the weight but the reasons we give ourselves for not dancing.

Eliminating the barriers to happiness will not make us happy. Like New Year Resolutions, that is a loser’s game. When we focus our attention on the things that get in the way of our happiness, we spend too much time thinking about being unhappy. Life is too short to waste time on such things.

We can all find happiness in our lives, even if that happiness has been obscured to the point of being a mere glimmer. We often allow so many of our obligations and difficulties to get in our way that we almost entirely divorce ourselves from happiness. If you are going to make any resolution at all, let it be for you to find that glimmer of happiness in your life and give yourself the freedom to nurture it and let it grow.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant. His company, Integrity HPI: Human Performance Improvement partners with organizations to develop and "employer of choice" work environment.

A Little Quiet Time to Feed Your Soul

2008-12-14T06:28:00.001-08:00

(I found this picture on the Internet of someone else having quiet time. I couldn't find a link to ask permission so, if the photo is your's and you don't want it here, contact me and I'll be happy to remove it.)

Sometimes life just seems to fly by as if the world were picking up speed and about to spin off its axis. Days, weeks, even months and years seem to disappear and we wonder how time passed so quickly with so little memory to show for it.

For years now we have been hearing self-help gurus and spiritual teachers tell us that we need to get present, experience the moment as it happens and break the cycle of dragging our past into our speculation of the future without taking much notice of the present moment. Though repackaged from time to time, the message is a very old one dating back at least to biblical times—even Jesus of Nazareth recommended it. It always gets our attention. It always seems revolutionary. It always promises to change our lives, yet, so few of us ever really get it.

When I was in college, I was involved in a campus group of Christians who taught me a very useful and very powerful technique for experiencing the present moment. It is called Quiet Time. While my own practice of Quiet Time has a Christian focus, the technique can be suitably applied to any faith and will even work in the absence of one.

Quiet Time is, in its simplest form, just that—a time to be quiet. The practice is done every day and can also be used whenever life seems to be getting loud and noisy with commitments, obligations, requirements, stresses, worries or what-have-you. Consider the recommended 15 to 30 minutes dedicated to Quiet Time, a top priority in your day.

During Quiet Time you clear your mind of everything that demands your immediate attention. Morning may well be the best time for many of us because the day and its worries have not yet taken hold. During Quiet Time, do not allow the impending day to encroach on your moment. Be focused on not letting your mind race with tasks or project of the day.

You do not have to be still during Quiet Time. You can walk your dog, jog or sip coffee on the deck. Just keep your mind free of reliving past events or rehearsing future ones. When those thoughts arise, just push them back as if to say, “It is not time for you yet.”

Eckhart Toll in his work, “The Power of Now” shared an amazing technique that will help you recognize what clearing your mind actually feels like. Stop, ask yourself the question, “What will my next thought be?” The flash of a second between finishing the question and knowing the answer is what a clear mind experiencing the present moment feels like.

Maintaining a clear state of mind for much longer than a split second is nearly impossible for most of us. If your mind cannot be clear, it is better to fill it with something that takes you out of the complications of daily life.

Music is alright if you are in control of it. Do not use a radio or television because of the talk and interruptions. Such things will only distract you. Some people read sacred or devotional texts during this time. (Christians often read the Bible.) Others might pray or do some meditative activity such as yoga or even doing the dishes which takes no real thought or concentration.

When you are as clear as you are going to get at the moment, look at your life from an objective point of view. This might mean trying to see yourself as a character in a book or play. Imagine you are watching yourself. When you do this, you are able to rise above the clouds in your life. You get a very different perspective from practicing this technique. You see the context of your life. Best of all, if you can actually just imagine watching yourself doing whatever you are doing at the moment, you will be utterly present in that moment.

Now try to reconnect with the things that give your life meaning and purpose. These are the things that fill you with contentment when you think about them.

I have a mission statement for my life and while it has changed and developed over the years, reconnecting with that mission and considering my experiences in terms of it has helped me focus my efforts, understand my life and adjust my reactions and behaviors. What is it that gives you a sense of purpose?

As you end your time, decide on an affirmative action you can take that day to reaffirm your mission or purpose and accomplish it that day.

Quiet Time is like an anchor for your soul in the sea of your life. Daily practice will keep life and its confusion in perspective and will keep stress at bay. You will stay on track and your days will no longer sink in a bog of events and obligations. You will begin to experience your life as it happens rather than attempting to relive it through memories.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Trainer and Consultant. His company, IntegrityHPI ~ Human Performance Improvement, is dedicated to making our experience of work better for both companies and individuals. To learn more about his work or to invite him to speak at your event, please visit, www.integrityhpi.com

Get Off the Work-Life Balance Seesaw

2008-12-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

Originally written for corporate execs, this entry is still quite good for our purposes. It is followed by some tips you can use to make your own work environment a happier, healthier place to be.

The term work-life balance implies that work and life are on opposite sides of a seesaw or scale and one must be weighed against the other. But employees cannot shed one and take up the other on respective sides of the time clock. We bring our lives to work and we take work home.

Many of our corporate leaders are of the Baby-Boomer generation. They have sacrificed nearly every aspect of their personal lives for the sake of their careers. For them, work-life balance naturally means more emphasis on the life side of the seesaw and our efforts to date have focused on facilitating the life side of the see saw.

There has been a lot of work done on the multi-generational work place. All of it points to the fact that the seesaw illustration of Work-Life Balance does not have the impact that employers hope because while it makes sense to the decision making baby-boomers, it may apply to the rest. At best, many work-life balance initiatives are temporary quick fixes of situations that present themselves in such a way that the costs associated with ignoring them are prohibitive.

Once we accepted the need to accommodate very complicated life situations, we made great inroads. Programs like flexible schedules, job sharing and telecommuting have proven themselves with positive ROI. These are now the givens, not the innovations.

Balanced life initiatives should be made for the purpose of making our companies employers of choice, attracting and engaging top talent for the long term. Achieving such a goal requires more than quick fixes, it demands a shift in the way we construct our work cultures. We must address the needs and perceptions of everyone in the organization. We need to make the workplace fulfilling enough to encourage Baby-Boomers to postpone retirement long enough to pass on what they know. We need to assuage inherent distrust and resulting lack of commitment of Generation X since they are next in line for the helm. We also need to create work environments that nurture the Millennial Generation so that they stay with us long enough to become effective day-after-tomorrow leaders

Savvy leaders are no longer looking at ways of getting people out of the office but we are looking at ways of making the office the place everyone wants to be. Work-life balance is now about balanced lives and the role organizations play in the lives of their associates. Companies are now realizing that in order to better insure their longevity and success, the human organizations that comprise them must become inclusive communities of engagement and commitment. And that means reworking our understanding of our corporate cultures.

So the essential myth about work-life balance that we must dispel is the perception that work and life are two opposing forces on a seesaw. There is no seesaw. There is no distinction between work and life. One does not counterbalance the other. The time clock is not a magic portal between two realities. Both sides are one reality for the person punching the clock. If we expect our companies to survive and thrive, we need to acknowledge and develop the kind of corporate culture that attracts and retains talented and skilled people, who form a cohesive and committed community with a common purpose, a community of engagement.

1. Be nice: The fact is that nice people are better liked and better liked people have it easier than those who make it difficult to like them.

2. Be positive: Negativity attracts negativity. Start complaining and you'll find plenty of company. Fortunately, the same holds true to being positive.

3. Avoid the gossip. Don't spread rumors. Don't join in on complaining about coworkers or your boss or working conditions or even the selection in the vending machines. Gossip breads discontent in the environment and in you as well.

4. Avoid gossipers. They might have a juicy tidbit to share with you but what are they saying about you to others?

5. Offer to help. If something isn't getting done properly or on time, offering to help accomplishes two things. The first is that it makes others aware that you are waiting in a way that is not offensive. The second is that you just might get what you need a little sooner. If needing to help becomes a constant, discuss it with your supervisor under the guise of your coworker being overworked.

6. Do what you can to make it easier for those whose work follows yours in the process chain. If you can save someone time or effort by alphabetizing something or resorting the data for their use or making a small extra effort to make the next step just a little easier, (even if you don't really like the person who benefits) the whole work environment can improve.

7. Please and Thank You are magic words. Use them often and mean them when you do.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker and consultant. His company, Integrity HPI, works with organizations making the work experience better for people and companies.

Paper Cuts, Hangnails & Cracker Crumbs in Bed

2008-12-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

You've heard the old adage, "A stitch in time saves nine." The traditional interpretation is that if you do something right the first time, you will not have to do it again. It can also mean if something needs doing, the longer you wait to do it, the harder it becomes to do.

It may surprise you to know that when it comes to balancing our lives, little things can make a big difference. We are talking about really tiny things that are easy to do but get set aside for later--things like making the bed, doing the dishes, picking up the dry-cleaning or washing the car.

They nag at us like a paper cut, hangnail or cracker crumbs in bed; persistent until they simply cannot be ignored. No matter how logically inconsequential these little things may be, they are emotionally significant. They drain us when we think about them. We argue over them. Try to and get the kids to do them. And sometimes pay exorbitant prices to have someone else do them.

Sure, in some cases, we are talking about pure laziness. We can recriminate ourselves and make ourselves even more unhappy or we can face up to the fact that in balancing our lives, we have to juggle a lot of things and once in a while, some things just do not get done. The fact that the same things end up at the bottom of the list often enough to become recognizable indicates that we actually do something about them.

Identify them. Everyone can identify what those little things are. When I ask, they usually mention one or two. What are yours? Once you identify them and label them as something you would like to see change in your life, their priority on the to-do list changes. No longer are we just looking that thing that needs to be done but we are looking to do something about that thing. We are altering a condition, not doing a chore. Because the task is different, the priority is different.

In my life, one of the small irritating things that seemed to get out of hand was the dishes. If I am not careful, they still have the potential to pile up. No matter how much I complained, stomped my feet or pleaded for family cooperation, dirty glasses, cups, dishes and cutlery ended up in the sink. Sometimes I would be so busy that they would pile up for days and there would not be a clean cup or glass in the house.

Accept responsibility. Whatever it is, you are the one that is bothered by it, so the problem is yours. It is no good blaming other people. Byron Katie said, "Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience.” Never has there been a truer statement. We realize that we may not be able to do much about the situation but we are completely capable of controlling the way we experience it as long as we accept responsibility for that experience.

No one else in my family seems upset by the dirty dishes. Not, at least, until they are hunting for a clean glass. In our home, the household chores are pretty fairly divvied up. The dishes are in my patch, so short of restructuring the whole household; the solution has to be mine.

Find compromise in resolution. The reason these conditions are so frustrating is because they are not the way you want them to be. They may never be exactly the way you want them to be. Maybe the ideal is not possible and finding a livable compromise is the key to balance. If it cannot be perfect, it can be acceptable. What does acceptable look like?

In the ideal world, everyone in my family would wash, dry and put away every dish, glass or bit of cutlery they ever used. Short of perfection, what can I live with? I have to accept the fact that there will probably never be a day without dirty dishes in the sink.

Establish a new habit. Good habits are wonderful things. Habits have a magical way of becoming almost effortless. It takes a little discipline and, according to experts, three weeks to establish a new habit. Design a habit that will remedy the situation to the level of acceptability and just do it.

When I determined to do something about my frustration over the dishes, I decided that I would not go to bed with dishes in the sink. Waking up to that mess would just set my whole day off kilter. At the end of the day, I may be tired but rarely am I too tired to fill and run the dishwasher and wipe down the sink and countertops. Throughout the day, I move things to the dishwasher if I see them and have time. Tolerating dishes in the sink until the end of the day was my compromise. Since I am the first up, while the coffee is brewing, I unload the dishwasher and prepare for the day. My frustration over dirty dishes is virtually gone.

A sink of dirty dishes may seem like a small or even silly thing to be upset about. By identifying, compromising and making the effort to change ourselves in small ways, we can eliminate the little things that pile up and become obstacles to a balanced life. Those little things that really seem to get under our skin are life’s opportunity to learn how to manage when we are confronted by much bigger obstacles.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant with Integrity HPI.

Happier Holidays: What You Can Do to Have a Happier Holiday Season

2008-11-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

The first Christmas I spent away from my family, I felt absolutely lost. I was living in Los Angeles. Everyone I knew was going somewhere else and I was staying home…alone. I had not bothered with decorations and I certainly did not intend to cook a holiday dinner for one.

I considered spending Christmas day at the movies like many Los Angelinos, but opted for a long walk to indulge in a little self pity. It was a beautiful, sunny warm day. Along my walk, I found a man trimming a hedge in his yard. The cuttings sort of looked like pine boughs and when I asked for a few of them, he looked at me like I had escaped without taking my meds. He let me have all I wanted.

On the way home, I spotted a neighbor’s poinsettia. They grow to the size of trees in Los Angeles. Hers needed a trim in my opinion so I stole a few of the red clusters. At home, I arranged these items on the table, added a few candles and sang carols while the microwave hummed along, heating my frozen dinner. I spent the rest of the day watching TV.

No matter what holiday we celebrate, we know what those days of celebration are supposed to be like. Our homes are to be warm, cozy and decorated. The meals should be both generous and delicious and the conversation around the table is to be pleasant and filled with best wishes and good intentions. The gifts are perfectly chosen, beautifully wrapped and always wonderfully appreciated.

Many of us work very hard to live up to that media-driven, Martha Stewart image of the holidays. I doubt that any of us has ever experienced one, at least not since we were children and did not have to do any of the work. All of that shopping, decorating, card writing, food preparation and gift wrapping can be a real drain. By the time the actual day arrives, many of us feel like an inflatable front-yard Santa during a power outage.

What we really want when we think of a Martha Stewart Christmas is the feeling we associate with those images and most of the people I know never really come close, no matter how hard they try. Every year they work harder and harder, more decorations, more gifts, bigger lists, more cards, fancier tables and more abundant meals. Still something is always missing and invariably, something does not go according to plan.

Someone doesn’t show up. A plate breaks. The biscuits burn. One of the kids gets a nose bleed all over the tablecloth. Someone gets too drunk. Half the table cranes their necks to watch television during dinner. The kids fight over toys. Somebody spills the gravy. Aunt Millie lets you know the turkey is a little dry and proceeds to tell you in great detail, how she prepares it. And while comforting yourself with a sugar fix by sneaking a cookie, you sprinkle powdered sugar down the front of your red sweater.

This is reality. Peace on earth is a nice sentiment but, during the holidays, I settle for piece of pie. Ever since that lonely day many years ago in LA, I have known that the feelings that we associate with a Martha Stewart Christmas cannot be found in the perfect tree, a flawless table setting or a delicious meal. If the love, peace and joy aren’t inside us, all of our time, effort and money will not magically produce them on Christmas Day.

So, while you are doing all of the things you need to do in preparation for the holidays, please remember to stop every now and again to think of the people for whom you are doing them. Think of why they are in your life and why you hope that they have a wonderful holiday. If that is not your hope for them, you would be better off spending your holiday at the movies.

With the exception of little children, the only person’s holiday for which you are entirely responsible is your own. You can not force others to be happy, satisfied or grateful.

Don’t kill yourself striving for something that may not exist even at Martha Stewart’s house. So smile. Enjoy the chaos. Laugh out loud when something goes wrong. Savor every moment you have with those you love, no matter how flawed they may be. Take a picture of Aunt Millie scowling at your turkey and use it for next years Christmas card. And for heaven’s sake, you do not have to sneak the cookie, just eat it with gusto. It’s Christmas.

Tips for a Better Holiday Experience

You can’t force people to be happy, satisfied or even grateful. So don’t try to make them happy. If they insist on being miserable, let them.
For kids, the whole package counts. Bring them in on everything. Even fairly young kids can help wrap gifts, clean and decorate the house and their rooms, bake cookies, write and mail cards. Who cares if they ruin a surprise for someone because they couldn’t wait to tell?

Make a budget. Figure out how much you have to spend and don’t go over budget. Track your expenses along the way and if you have to cut corners, cut them.

Shop with a list. The holiday season is fueled by impulse buying. Making a list will help you stay financially on track. Your Gift list should include the people you wish to buy gifts for and how much you wish to spend on each of them.

Avoid using your credit cards. It is well documented that consumers spend more when they pay with plastic than they do with cash. Many people are still trying to pay off last year’s holiday credit card bills. Don’t be a dope. Your holiday festivities should not be overshadowed by a cloud of looming debt.

Obligatory gifts should be token gifts. Do not spend a lot of time or money on gifts for your children’s teachers, the mail carrier or your office mates. It is perfectly acceptable to buy them all the same thing or nothing at all. If your budget is tight, get creative. Bake cookies. Fill-dollar store mugs with candy or samples of gourmet coffee or tea. Your gift should not make them feel the need to reciprocate.

Shop for food once. Think about the meals you plan to prepare, make a list and check it twice. Think of how you might creatively use leftovers for subsequent events or meals.

Avoid gift cards, especially if you are on a budget. Gift cards may be an easy choice but they often lead people to spend more because the amount spent on the gift is obvious.

Before buying decorations, get creative with last years stuff. Wait for the after holiday sales to buy new stuff for next year. If you are buying new stuff this year, make sure you set strict spending limits. Consider getting creative. Get the kids to make some decorations. They can string popcorn. Make construction paper chains.

Do a toy clean out. Think of all of the toys your children no longer play with. Clean them off, pack them up and take them to a thrift store. Ask the kids to choose several toys they would like to give to other children. They can’t choose broken toys or toys with missing pieces. (Throw those away!) You’ll have a lot less clutter to deal with in the next few months and your children will learn the value of giving.

Go ahead and eat! Get real! You are going to gain a little weight. Why spend the holidays feeling guilty for eating the cookies, candy and treats? Dieting makes you hungry. You may well eat less by telling yourself that you can have it if you want it.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant dedicated to making work better for people and for companies. To learn more about his services or to invite him to speak at your organization, visit his company website at www.integrityhpi.com.

You Could Use a Nap!

2008-11-16T07:09:00.000-08:00

During my first semester in college I met a fine-arts major named Beth who believed sleep was a waste of time. She slept in 20 minute chunks diligently working on art projects in between several naps a day. She was perpetually fatigued, lethargic and lived in a dream-like fog that many of her friends took for being “cool.”

Beth was an extreme case but her story typifies a common American mistake: When it comes to sleep, we have better things to do. Consequently, many of us are sleep deprived and sleep disorders are increasingly common.

Advertising media bombard us with commercials for both prescription and over the counter sleep aids. We see as many commercials and advertisements for mattresses promising better rest. How many of us haven’t walked into a store at the mall to find out what our sleep number is and who can resist finding out what the Tempur-Pedic mattress feels like?

Convenience store shelves are stocked with vitamin packs and energy drinks. Coffee is now an American obsession, commonly consumed even among teenagers. ($18 Billion worth of coffee a year is consumed in the US.)

Just twenty years ago, it would have been difficult to find someone who had undergone a sleep test. Back then, anyone who had undergone a sleep test probably had to travel quite a distance, perhaps even by air, to be tested at a sleep center. Now, a simple count of the directory on sleepcenters.org reveals that there are at least 945 sleep test centers across the country. According to Sleep Centers of America, more than 70 million Americans have a sleep disorder and more than 10 million people a year consult their physicians regarding sleep-related issues.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, drowsy driving in America kills more than 1,500 people a year and causes 71,000 injuries in an estimated 100,000 sleep-related crashes a year.

If you ask me, America could use a nap.

Winston Churchill put it eloquently when he wrote, “Nature had not intended mankind to work from 8 in the morning until midnight without the refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it lasts only 20 minutes, is sufficient to renew all vital forces.”

Research has validated his observation demonstrating that even a brief nap of between 20 to 45 minutes, will rejuvenate you, and increase your ability to concentrate making you more productive.

Until a few years ago, I pushed myself as hard as any other baby-boomer in the work force. I got up early, went into the office, worked late, came home and had trouble sleeping because I was so wound up. One day, I arrived an hour early for a meeting and I waited in my car.

The next time I glanced at the clock, it was 20 minutes later, a snore and awakened me. Apart from the slight, self-conscious embarrassment of the snore, I felt terrific and my meeting went really well. I had recently scoffed at an article on power naps and companies putting power-nap facilities in their offices. Who in their right mind was going to pay someone to take a nap?

I was so impressed with by my own experience; I tried it again on purpose. The difference in my day was amazing. I began planning my appointments so that I could find just half an hour a day for a nap. I purchased a sleep mask and a small travel pillow and kept them in the car. Since then, napping has become part of my regular routine. While others are socializing in the lunchroom, you can find me reclined in my car taking the 20 minute nap Winston Churchill recommended.

There are lots of people who do this. They do not talk about it. It is a secret. On some level, I think it embarrasses them. After all, napping is for kids, isn’t it? I admit, I nap in my car because I doubt I could stand the ribbing I would get if someone were to hear snoring behind my office door. I’ve met quite a number of people who say that they could never nap for just twenty minutes because they would be out for hours. Well, that just makes a stronger argument for the fact they, like many of us, are probably sleep deprived.

Sleep researchers have discovered that sleep deprivation makes it difficult for us to learn and concentrate. Sleep deprived people are less productive, more forgetful and more prone to both error and accidents. It also causes weight gain, impairs our immune system, reduces our ability to handle stress and can make us cranky.

Any one of these side-effects can set our work-life balance off kilter. By not getting enough sleep; we increase our exposure to all of them. Getting enough sleep is one of the most effective steps we can take to improving the quality of our lives. Here are ten simple things you can do to improve your sleep:

1.Save time to unwind. Give yourself more than an hour of mindless activity at the end of the day so that you do not spend half the night reliving the events of the day or rehearsing what might happen the next day. Read something frivolous. Watch TV, pray or meditate.
2.Avoid eating late. In sleep, you body wants to heal and rejuvenate. If it is spending half the night digesting food, you are not reaping the full benefit of your sleep. Don’t eat less than two or three hours before going to sleep.
3.Avoid drinking a lot of fluids right before bedtime. If night visits to the restroom are a frequent problem, consult a physician.
4.Avoid caffeine after 2 pm. I know this may go against everything you hold dear and Starbucks stockholders may scoff, but the effects of caffeine can last a long time. If you need a picker-upper in the afternoon, rather than reaching for a cup of coffee or an energy drink, consider the humble nap or some physical exercise to get your energy flowing.
5.Consider non-chemical sleep aids. Buy a sleep mask and/or ear-plugs if you are a light sleeper. Pull the drapes closed. Cover LED lights. And if you live on a busy street or in a noisy building, white background noise may help--a recording of waves or rain or even the hum of a fan. (My dishwasher, which I can hear from my bedroom, puts me right under.)
6.Invest in a good mattress. You spend a third of your life in bed, you should have a high-quality mattress that meets your needs.
7.Regulate your internal clock. Try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day whether you are working or not. You will know you are successful when you wake up right before your alarm feeling refreshed and ready for the day.
8.Limit your alcohol consumption. While alcohol can relax you, it also has a dehydrating effect and reduces the quality of your sleep.
9.Consider power napping in the middle of the day but more than 8 hours before you go to bed. Napping later may make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep.
10.Get more physical exercise during the day. If our work is not physically taxing, chances are, we aren’t working our bodies as hard as we work our minds. A little exercise can set things right.

Joseph Onesta is a speaker, trainer and consultant at Integrity HPI—Human Performance Improvement. He works with companies bridging the gap between the vision of top management and the rank and file work experience developing an “employer of choice” work environment. To learn more about Joseph Onesta and his work at Integrity HPI, please visit their website at: http:www.integrityhpi.com.

The Office Holiday Party, An Event to Remember or One You'd Rather Forget

2008-11-10T05:46:00.001-08:00

The bosses say they want you to have fun but stay on the safe side. You are still at work. Remembering some simple etiquette guidelines will help make this year's office party an event to remember and not one you would rather forget.

Don't get drunk! The office party may be free flowing with holiday "spirits" but the line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior is far less blurry if you keep your wits about you. A drink or two probably won't hurt, you know your limit, but the office party is not a night out with good friends. Office relationships have been permanently damaged and people have even lost their jobs for things they have said or done at the office party.

Dress appropriately; you are still at work. It is nice to get dressed up but save the really sexy attire for truly social events. You do not want to be the object of unwelcome attention during the party and you don't want to be the subject of all the gossip after.

If you are a manager, you have to go. It is a mistake to think you can opt out of this event. If you have supervisory responsibilities, you are a host to the people you supervise. If you do not attend the party, you will send a message that communicates your lack of commitment your team and the company. While at the party, make sure you greet each of your reports and thank them for the job they have done and try an be specific about a particular incident in which they performed exceptionally well.

Gifts are not appropriate. No one wants to be saddled with having to carry or watch over a gift while they are supposed to be having a good time. Management may announce awards or special recognitions but the gifts, if they are anything more cumbersome than a gift card, should be handled at the office. If you want to give your supervisor a gift for the holidays, you should do so at the office, unobtrusively and in such a way that the receiver does not feel obligated to reciprocate.

Avoid cliquish behavior. It is natural to want to be with the people you feel most comfortable and you should sit with your teammates for the meal if one is served. This will help your team to function more cohesively and allows you to see one another in a different context. However, spending the entire event with them deprives you of a very unique opportunity. Others who may want to speak with you might find it difficult to approach you because they are not part of your group. You want to make yourself as approachable as possible. Politely excuse yourself from the group, mention that you would like to wish the CEO a happy holiday and go off and mingle.

Mingle. Mingle. Mingle. The office party is an opportunity to meet people in the organization with whom you do not normally get to interact. Advancement in the business world is a function of others thinking as highly of you as a person as they might of your skills. Take the opportunity to meet others and let them meet you. If you have to inject yourself into a group that appears cliquish, do so under the pretext of wishing them all happy holidays. Introduce yourself, tell them where you work in the organization and shake hands with everyone in the group. Try and remember their names and greet them with full eye contact and a smile in the hallways the next time you see them at the office. You will build allies throughout the organization who can make your job easier today and help get you promoted tomorrow.

Don't forget the CEO. Extend your mingling to those high level managers and senior managers with whom you may not normally interact. You do not have to carry on long conversations. Just introduce yourself. Offer a good firm, not crushing, handshake. Remind them where you work in the organization and if you have received a company bonus or gift, thank them for it. Wish them a good holiday and be on your way. Acknowledge them at the office as you would anyone else. In order for you to become one of them, they have to feel comfortable with you in that position.

The two most critical elements in getting better assignments and more challenging or interesting projects are having a higher level "sponsor"--that is someone who remembers you and thinks of you as they are discussing assignments and being a respected and well-liked person. The company party is a great time to make a positive impression.

If you are invited to be someone's guest at his or her office party, dress well, be friendly and avoid the booze. You are not there to have a good time. Your goal is to look good, be polite and stand quietly next to your date and let him or her make a good impression.

Keep these simple guidelines in mind and when after-party gossip is bantered around the break room, they won't be talking about you. The next buzz just may be about your promotion.

Joseph Onesta, M.A. is a speaker, trainer and consultant working in the field of Human Performance Improvement. His company, Integrity HPI helps companies develop an "employer of choice" work culture and environment, by improving performance through focused strategies, enriched work/life balance and enhanced communication. You are invited to visit http://www.integrityhpi.com to learn more about Integrity HPI's services and subscribe to their free e-newsletter, Balanced Life Tips.

A Corporate Katrina? Change is in the Air and Things May Never Be the Same Again

2008-11-09T05:55:00.000-08:00

Unstable markets, wildly fluctuating prices for commodities and finished goods and increasing doubt about the future role of fossil fuels is causing some business leaders to wonder what the future of doing business looks like. Cancelled sales, postponed projects and hiring freezes are now common. For many companies, the current crisis feels like an economic version of hurricane Katrina, difficult to predict and even harder know how to prepare or react.

At a recent HR conference, I met an HR Director who said these words, “We have been doing the same thing for fifty odd years. It works for us.” I had mixed reactions. Part of me appreciated the confidence in her voice and the sense of stability it conveyed. The idea felt warm and safe. If something isn’t broken, why fix it, right?

At the same time, I knew that for any company to believe that doing nothing, either because of or in spite of our current economic instability, just isn’t wise. There are too many other factors involved and ignoring any one of them might prove to be a fateful, and possibly fatal, decision. We do not need to hunker down and ride out the storm; we need to take action.

Let us consider some of them.

In the past year, there have been numerous exposé articles about the highly paid senior management of underperforming organizations. Historically, we have been able to conceptually separate the individual performance of executives and the other factors which affect the performance of organizations. There is always more going on than a decision from the corner office.

The CEO is responsible to the board and the board members know what they are doing, don’t they? Ultimately who is responsible for the success of an organization? The board is elected by the stockholders. The buck gets passed once again and no one seems to really know just who is responsible.

We seem to be entering an era that applies different meanings to the words accountability and responsibility. Taxpayer, and therefore, voter anger and resentment over the government bailout of the failed banks typify this shift. Corporate America is confronting its definitions of leadership.

We are learning lessons that a few CEOs have known for a long time. The true success of an organization depends on how that organization functions as a vibrant entity, a living organism, inclusive of its work culture, its business processes, its ethics and its role in the lives of the people who work there.

Evolving technology changes the way we do business almost on a daily basis, yet we are often unprepared to adjust and respond to those changes. We no longer have the luxury of time to figure out how to use new technology to our best advantage. The decision making processes that have given us 20 years, for example, to fool around with variations of e-learning no longer apply.

The baby boomers are going to retire whether we like it or not. Businesses have received yet one more reprieve from the brain drain of boomer retirement since retirement accounts have once more suffered record losses. This time, however, boomers are not in a position to simply add another ten years to their careers like they did the last time around. They no longer know what retirement will look like and as a consequence, our leaders are less able to predict the composition of our workforce.

This crisis begs another nagging question. We have democratized the stock market with on-line trading and we have placed the responsibility for planning for our retired workforce in the hands of individual workers. Defined pension plans are all but non-existent. The future of Social Security always seems to be in doubt. And, now individual retirement accounts have been gutted by stock-market instability.

We have taken the planning responsibility away from corporations and placed it in the hands of individuals without providing adequate education. They have had to rely on questionable sources of public information, the “advice” of investment sales people and on 401K administrators who legally can provide only the vaguest direction. Combine uneducated decisions with a volatile market and we have people who are now looking at their government for help since their employers have washed their hands of them.

Where do we expect the government to get the funds it will need to help them when the traditional source of income, the lower to middle income tax base is tapped out? The corporate voices who wanted to eliminate the predictable expense of defined pension plans are now hearing what may well be their raucous corporate swan song. Whether or not we see direct taxation or simply the loss of tax breaks, we might predict that the job of the CFO may grow considerably more difficult. In hindsight, how viable was our decision to change our retirement planning strategies?

The issues revolving around the multigenerational and multicultural workplace are increasing in complexity. We attend seminars on understanding the different generations but what do we do with that information? Organizations are struggling with engagement, diversity, inclusion, recruitment and retention. They are faced with the pending retirement drain on experience and skills and their organizations will soon be in the hands of those less experienced and far less self-sacrificing.

Economic crisis only exacerbates these issues. Increasing unemployment makes people available but there is a gap between the people who are available and the people we think we want to hire. Every recruiter I know, both corporate and independent, reports being inundated with the resumes of people who are considered unqualified. What is wrong with this picture? Are there simply no qualified people or are we setting our hopes on finding a super hero?

Rather than fretting over the difficulty of finding the right person to fit the job, we may have to rethink the position. The problem is if you change one job description, you may have to change five more. Does your company enjoy the level of engagement and commitment that will adjust to these changes or will you need to hire two people to fill one position? Which of these alternatives is really the most expensive in the long run?

If we are honest, I have not pointed out anything that is completely new. We simply do not like thinking about these concepts. We would prefer, like that HR executive at the conference, to continue to do things the way we have always done them.

While we still have time, we are going to have to endure the discomfort of change yet again and focus on building and nurturing a work culture that not only embraces change but maintains the engagement, commitment and accountability necessary to sustain the organization no matter what the economic climate.

Forget About the Gym!

2008-11-04T04:25:00.000-08:00

I am not alone. The best estimates that I can find on-line from a number of sources indicate that upwards of 70% of health club members never or rarely use their membership.

Most of us need to work. We would like to spend time with our spouses, family and friends. We may study. We may have a spiritual or community life. And then there is exercise. In the face of that sort of to-do list, what do we cut out?

Despite our better intentions, may of us cut out the exercise. We know that lack of sufficient exercise results in obesity, reduced cardio-vascular health, increased stress and even depression. We buy gym memberships we don’t use. Many of us own home exercise equipment that gathers dust. We swallow expensive supplements and subscribe to controlled food-delivery services. In the end, we make ourselves sick with guilt when none of it works and we are too ashamed of ourselves to take advantage of all those money-back guarantees.

In my quest for a balanced life, I have come to terms with the fact that exercising for sake of it is not a priority to me. I have done many of the subtle things commonly suggested to increase my activity. I park several extra blocks from my office. I choose parking spaces far from the store entrance. I take the stairs rather then the elevator. I sometimes spend my break time walking around the block. It is not enough!

Enter the humble toofer. A toofer is an activity that gives us double return on our investment of time and energy—the result of “two for” the investment of one. Toofers allow me to combine items on my to-do list and help me find some of that sought-for balance in life.

Take, for example, the task of getting the car washed. If you drive to the car wash, reaching for your wallet is about all the exercise you are going to get. But, if you wash the car by hand, you get a clean car as well as some exercise. That is a simple toofer. Add into the equation, all the money you save and you have double toofer. Wash the car by hand with the kids and the return goes through the roof! You get a clean car. You get exercise. You have some fun. You spend time with the kids. And you save a little money.

Toofers that help increase exercise are everywhere. All we need is a little imagination and some planning. Rather than going to the movies, consider taking a walking tour of a local neighborhood or a visit to the museum, art exhibit or zoo. You’ll get some exercise and learn something as well

Around the house, you might plant a vegetable garden, do some serious spring-cleaning, mow the lawn or paint a room. Volunteer for community clean-up day or build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Do any of these activities with family or friends and you exponentially increase the benefits.

I truly admire the folks at the gym with their chiseled athletic bodies. I wish I could go to the beach and not feel that I had somehow failed as a physical specimen. But I also know, beyond any doubt, that those people did not get those bodies from three twenty-minute workouts a week—no matter what the commercials say!

It takes real work and a lot of time to get a body like the ones we see in those commercials. I just do not have that kind of time. I would have to sacrifice another important facet of my life in order to spend that sort of time at the gym. So, I have forgotten all about the gym and the guilt for not going. As far as home exercise equipment goes, free weights make interesting stepping stones in the garden.

I’ll stick with the toofer. A little exercise is better than none. While I may not be an Adonis, my life is in better balance, I get exercise, have fun and get a few chores done in the bargain.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Trainer and Consultant. His company, Integrity HPI, is dedicated to making the American experience at work better for both individuals and companies. Through keynote talks, seminars, workshops and focused projects, he partners with organizations to develope an "employer of choice" work environment.

Financial Lessons Learned from Hurricane Katrina

2008-11-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

The financial world is in chaos. World leaders are scrambling to save economies that up to now, seemed to need little more than interest rate regulation. Government bailouts, take over of major financial institutions and decimation of retirement accounts have set our society in turmoil from the highest in government to individual citizens. We are in the midst of a kind of economic hurricane Katrina and we need to know how to best weather the storm.

As Katrina approached the gulf coast, people in New Orleans were encouraged to evacuate but many ignored the warnings and stayed behind. They later found themselves stranded on their rooftops having lost everything. If, like them, you do nothing, in this financial storm, you may find yourself stranded or worse. The warning signs are all around us. It is not time to hunker down and hope that the storm blows over. It is time to take action.

Reconsider what you have, what can be saved and what you might have to count as a loss.

In personal finance terms, it comes down to revaluating your wants and your needs. Luxuries that become a habit have a way of looking like necessities when they are not. We all should examine the ways we spend money and reconsider our habits. How much of our spending is on luxury and how much is on necessity?

If we do not tighten our belts voluntarily, they will be tightened for us. In the throws of Katrina, stranded people were hungry and parched and help did not come for a long time—too late for some.

For some of us tightening the belt a notch may mean public transportation rather than driving to work. It may mean packing a lunch rather than eating out. We might dry-clean less often. We might eat at home more, turn the lights off when we leave a room or wear a sweater rather than turning up the thermostat this winter.

Do we really need to spend four or five dollars on a cup of coffee? Sorry Starbucks, I own a travel mug and can brew a decent cup at home. If I am going to go out for a cup, it will be the basic model, not the frothed-up, price-inflated version. How about cutting your prices for your loyal customers who have spent so freely?

Do not wait for the government to save you. They are not prepared for it. Our government and FEMA were taken completely by surprise by Katrina and the process was mismanaged and mistakes made from the very beginning.

Remember the economic stimulus check you received at the beginning of the summer. It was like throwing a pizza at 30 or 40 really hungry people. The big story at the time was how very few people were actually spending it in the way the government hoped. Now we are bailing out banks to tune of billions of dollars because of their bad, even predatory lending decisions.

Looters are on the loose. As citizens of New Orleans were forced to turn their backs on their homes and businesses to save their lives, looters were right behind them picking up was they left behind.

Beware of unscrupulous offers of credit, pay-day loans, easy financing and guaranteed satisfaction. Think twice before moving your investments on the advice of someone who needs to make a living off of your decisions. Read the fine print of offers on insurance that will make your payments for you if you are unable to do so. Anyone who offers an easy solution in a time like this is selling snake oil.

Just after the storm, creditors were very patient and cooperative with credit card holders and were very understanding about late payments and lost cards. How long do you suppose creditors left accounts open for displaced Katrina victims who were no longer employed and could not pay their bills? It wasn’t long before accounts were being closed for various reasons, all of them legitimate.

Learn to live without your credit cards. Using credit now just means you will have to pay more later. Interest rates often double or even triple the cost of your purchases if you are carrying balances from month to month and making minimum payments. In a tight economy, why would you pay more for something just to have the simple convenience of using a credit card?

Most everyone has debt obligations and when it comes to prioritizing which creditor gets paid and which does not, credit cards fall to the very bottom of the list because the debt is unsecured. At the top of the list are your mortgage, legal obligations like child support and your taxes. Think of long-term consequences rather than short-term inconveniences.

There is going to be a very fowl mess to clean up. More than three years later, there are still homes in New Orleans that have not been cleaned out, gutted or torn-down and the job of cleaning up that mess gets more and more difficult as time goes by.

Financial storms can cast very long shadows. Lost opportunities, damaged credit reports and investment losses may require years of recovery and rebuilding. The thing to remember is that you can rebuild and though things may never be as they were or as you planned them, you can and will survive and even find happiness. In the midst of the storm the best we can do is to try and limit the damage.

Profiteering will be rife. In the recovery process after Katrina, gross profiteering was not only everywhere, it was obvious. Even today, building supplies are at a premium price even at the national chain stores. Contractors in New Orleans can charge two and three times their normal rates. Long waits in line and even longer waiting lists for contractors betray how willing some are to pay the price of recovery.

As we emerge from this crisis, and we will come out of this, there will be some who promise quicker and easier recovery. Call them economic ambulance chasers. They will promise investments with large and quick gains. They will offer to repair credit reports, provide quick easy access to bankruptcy and offer easy credit terms. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

Remember the fundamental rules. Promises of high returns naturally carry corresponding risk. The more an investment opportunity promises a return, the more likely it is that you can also lose your shirt. There are no secrets to credit repair. You can do it all yourself and the information you need is free and readily available. And anytime there is a legal way out, like bankruptcy, debt negotiation or tax settlement, there are consequences that are unavoidable. You should find out what they are before you sign on the dotted line.

There will be help. Volunteers and charities poured into New Orleans after Katrina as if a levy of a different kind had been breached.

It is difficult to say what kinds of real help will be available after this economic storm. They are limited only by our ingenuity and our capacity for kindness. Ultimately, however, each of us is responsible for our own financial well-being. Be careful; it is a gale out there.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Trainer and Consultant with Integrity HPI. His practice focuses improved work environments that develop an "employer of choice" reputation for his clients while facilitating the work-life balance of their employees. As former Director of Education and Training for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles, he offers seminars and workshops in Personal Finance Employee Education.

Work As Play

2008-10-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

If you get this, you'll improve your game, be more valuable to your employer, and frankly, be a lot happier in the long run.

Human beings have an infinite capacity to find ways of entertaining themselves. I recently heard about a South African sport called Kudu Spitting. A Kudu is a kind of antelope and participants collect the cherry-sized kudu droppings and see how far they can spit them. Yes, we are talking about kudu poop and yes, they spit it with their mouths.

Play is magic. It makes time seem to pass more quickly. No matter how strenuous or challenging the play is, we are motivated, energized and rejuvenated by it. Play inspires us to improve our performance. We strive to get better and better and when we are done, we look forward to the next opportunity to play.

Wouldn’t it be nice if work could be as much fun as our favorite games? Imagine having fun at work all day long and coming home afterwards filled with energy and looking forward to going back the next day!

Play can be as physically challenging and mentally stressful as work. Yet, we thrive on play while work can be soul destroying. Why is that?

Philosopher Alan Watts identified the critical difference for us. When we feel compelled or obligated to perform a task, it feels like work. When there is no sense of obligation, whatever we are doing feels more like play. When we treat everything we do, including work, as play, a sort of miracle happens. It all becomes rather fun.

Now, among mundane and boring jobs, bagging groceries has to be in the top ten. A few years ago, I took a job at the local grocery store while recovering from two spinal surgeries. I just needed to get out of the house and do something physical. In order to inure myself to the lack of mental challenge, I created a number of little games. I mentally evaluated how healthy each order was and devised a ranking system. I also challenged myself to see how quickly and efficiently I could bag large orders using fewer bags. As I collected shopping cars from the parking lot, I worked toward increasing the number of carts I could manage and navigate without losing control of them.

According to Watts, the key to my ability to convert bagging groceries into pure play was the fact that I didn’t feel obligated to do it. I was in that job because I had specifically chosen to do that work for my own reasons. But, it is not difficult for me to apply the same standard to anything that I do. I have chosen my career. I choose my clients. When I commit myself to a particular project, I voluntarily sign the contract. I may make that choice because I want or need the money but the choice is mine all the same.

According to an on-going work-life balance survey by Integrity HPI, 24% of survey participants feel trapped in their current job. Trapped, stuck, unable to break away, in other words, they feel obligated to continue. It might be difficult for those people to convert their jobs into play but they are the ones who would benefit most from doing so. It is possible that they are in the wrong job yet I suspect that they are more likely in the wrong mind-set.

If a hunter working in the South African bush could think up Kudu spitting, you can creatively find ways to make your job fun and exciting. Give it a shot. Have a go. You’re it!

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Trainer and Coach. The focus of his practice, Integrity HPI is making life and work better for people and for companies. Visit his website, http://www.integrityhpi.com for more information or to invite him to speak at your event.

I need a SPAM filter for snail mail!

2008-10-24T05:28:00.000-07:00

“We need a bigger mailbox!” proclaimed a friend as she came back to her kitchen, barely able to contain the mass of envelops and flyers clutched to her chest. She dumped the pile next to the hot biscuits and steaming coffee she had served me a few moments earlier. We chatted while she sorted her mail into three piles, one to keep, one to shred and one to recycle. “Gosh, look at this stuff. Why can’t there be a spam filter for snail mail?”

For the rest of our visit, the idea of a spam filter for snail mail lingered in the back of my mind. Think of the time and resources we waste picking through our mail looking for the important stuff like bills and statements. How often has a bill or important notice gone unheeded because it was lost in a pile of flyers, coupons and catalogs? In terms of living a balanced life, junk mail may not seem like much of a challenge but it is a needless and wasteful part of the equation that can be significantly minimized with a few simple steps.

A large percentage of junk mail consists of offers of credit based on our credit scores. Creditors buy mailing lists from the major credit reporting agencies and make blanket offers to every one who fits their profile. Since offers of credit are among the kinds of mail that should be shredded to foil dumpster diving identity thieves, why get them at all? Consumers can opt out of unsolicited offers of credit by visiting http://www.optoutprescreen.com or by calling (888) 5OPTOUT.

You can stop a lot of the advertising you receive by contacting the Direct Mail Preference Service. You can do this online at http://www.dmachoice.org. Reputable direct mail marketers are members of the Direct Mail Association and comply with the list.

Catalog Choice, http://www.catalogchoice.org, is a service that helps people unsubscribe to catalogs from merchants. Once you sign up you simply find the catalogs you receive and indicate that you no longer wish to receive them. They do the rest.

You may have to contact some mailers directly. Some of the flyers you receive don’t have a return address so look for the card that accompanies the flyers. The card has a return address. It also has numbers near your address that identify you as the recipient. Attach the card to a dated, signed letter requesting to be removed from all of their mailing lists. It may take a month or so to kick in because mailings are prepared in advance but it should work.

You may also wish to contact the charities you support and ask them not to share your information with other organizations. This will reduce the charitable requests you receive.

If you want to take the easy way out and hit as much of the direct mail community as you can in one stroke, a relatively nonprofit organization, http://www.41pounds.org promises to do the legwork for you for a basic fee of $41. They promise to eliminate up to 90% of your junk mail for five years.

Before you go out and buy a bigger mailbox to accommodate your snail mail spam, consider these few easy steps to drastically reduce your junk mail. You will save time, make fewer trips to the recycle center and save a few trees in the bargain.

Joseph Onesta is a Speaker, Training and Consultant at Integrity HPI http://www.integrityhpi.com Please visit his website to learn more about his services.

How to Wrestle with A Pessimist

2008-09-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

Some folks have it rough. Nothing ever goes right for them. The weather is always bad. Food ordered at a restaurant is always unacceptable. Anyone with good news is warned, usually with a chuckle, about all the things that could go wrong from here on out. It would seem that the universe conspires to make these people suffer and they seem to think it is their duty to let us know how terrible things really are.

The remarkable thing is that these perpetual pessimists seem almost to revel in their own despair. Complaining gives them a way of connecting to people; as if commiseration is the only way they know how to be companionable. No matter how much they laugh and joke about how bad things are, do any of us really believe that they can be happy seeing the world as they do?

The insidious power of pessimists is the proverbial grain of truth to be found in what they say. In a general sense, the things they say are true. The weather could be better most of the time and rarely does one get a perfect meal at a restaurant but if you are seeing the glass as half empty, how can you enjoy drinking the rest?

It is one thing to acknowledge that things could be better but it is another entirely to believe that they never will. Pessimists have the potential to leave you feeling like a herd of elephants has just trampled your soul. Their complaining and whining about how bad things are and how much worse they can get will sap you of all your strength.

Most of us are more optimistic than the perpetual pessimist. We can see potential for good as well as bad. Our biggest mistake is trying to help pessimists be happier by spending time with them. Pessimism, like gravity, has a gentle but persistent force. You can only fight for so long. Spend enough time with a pessimist and eventually, you will come around to their way of thinking.

Imagine you are sitting in the lunch room at work and a coworker is tossing a coin. He begins to draw the attention of others proclaiming he has a very unusual coin. Every time he tosses it, it comes out tails. You and others begin to gather around to watch. He has now tossed the coin some 15 times and every time it has been tails. People begin commenting, even taking bets. The tosses are now near 25 and they have come out tails every time. What are the chances that the next time he tosses the coin, it will be tails?

Some people would expect it to be tails again. Others would say it can’t possibly be tails again. From the get go, there has always been a 50% chance the toss will go either way and those chances have not changed. Yet our perception has. In either case, we see the pattern as significant when it is not.

As the pessimist continues to point out how things constantly go wrong, you begin to see the pattern too. Then it becomes like looking at the classical optical illusion. Once you see the two faces, it takes a conscious effort to see the vase.

Take notice that the pessimist is almost never to blame for what goes wrong. It might be fate, bad luck, the way the world is or simply someone else. Because they rarely take responsibility for their own experiences, they are trapped. They see themselves as victims not perpetrators. There is no way out. Misdiagnose the cause and you also misdiagnose the cure.

Many of us make the mistake of trying to cheer up a pessimist. Don’t bother! The remedy for pessimism will never come from someone else. It cannot be purchased, delivered or gifted. The cure for pessimism must rise within. It takes a conscious decision to discount the pattern. That is difficult to do.

For your own sake, try to spend as little time with pessimists as possible. Sometimes you don’t have a choice. Sometimes you discover that the pessimist in the room is you! Choose to ignore the negative pattern; try to establish a positive one. Don’t proclaim that the weather is too hot. Rather be thankful for the air-conditioning. Don’t complain about the rain, point out how your garden needs the water or anticipate the lovely fresh scent in the air after a good rain.

If the cure for pessimism sounds a little too much like Pollyanna playing the glad game, you are right. The simple fact is…it works.

Coping with a Financial Crunch

2008-08-19T05:34:00.000-07:00

The economy is in a crunch. Rising fuel costs and natural disasters are causing price increases in critical consumer goods, like food, which rely on shipping. Credit card companies are reducing credit limits, withholding new offers of credit and raising interest rates.

The fall in the mortgage and real estate markets have eroded a much of the equity held by property owners leaving many to face foreclosure and even bankruptcy because they’ve used equity to pay off other debts and now that equity is gone.
Many Americans find themselves caught unawares by financial crisis. Yet, even during times of economic downturn, most financial crises are not only predictable but preventable.

The biggest reason we fail to see a financial crisis coming is mostly because we are too afraid to look in the first place. Experts have been predicting all of the current financial difficulties for years, even while we were in the housing market boom. We didn’t want to hear it. We would just rather not think about it until we are forced to do so. It’s like walking across a familiar street with out paying attention to traffic. You might get away with it for a while but sooner or later…
While working as Director of Education at Consumer Credit Counseling Service in Los Angeles, I dealt with literally thousands of people who steadfastly refused to look at their financial condition until they were forced to do so. Now the economy is forcing all of us to take a long hard look.

It is not too late! The key to preventing or minimizing real damage during financial stress is to understand your situation and take prompt action to control it.

Know your income. Take a good look at your net income. How much cold hard cash do you have coming every month? Consider all reliable sources. This is what you have to work with.

Consider your resources. You should have a financial cushion, three to six months living expensive in an account that is easily converted to cash. Savings accounts, mature savings bonds, money market accounts, certificates of deposit that are nearing maturity are all good choices. The numbers in your 401K plan may look enticing but really these should be a last resort. You’ll pay high penalties and taxes for early withdrawal and you may irreparably jeopardize your retirement.

Look at the way you use credit. Are you using credit cards to artificially supplement your income? Would you have enough money every month if you didn’t have your credit cards? Credit should be used less frequently during times of financial stress.

Know your expenses. Expenses are traditionally divided into three groups. Fixed expenses stay the same each month. Variable expenses change from month to month. Periodic expenses occur reliably but less frequently than every month.

Rethink your wants and your needs. So much of what we consider essential to our comfort and lifestyle is really fluff. Cutting back expenses in small ways can have a dramatic impact on your bottom line.

Prioritize your obligations. At the top of the list, place legal obligations like child-support, back taxes and court-mandated payments. Next are secured debt payments like mortgage or car payments. And at the bottom of the list, is your unsecured debt mostly in the form of credit cards.

Know your alternatives. The media is now rife with advertisements for debt solution companies offering debt settlement, debt consolidation, debt management, tax negotiation and even bankruptcy. Each company, even if it is “non-profit,” will probably tout its particular service and solution as the best for your circumstances and will effectively sell you on it if you call. Most consumers are unaware of the differences between these solutions, much less the corresponding expense and long-term consequences they carry.

The sooner you act, the less likely you are to suffer long term damage from an economic downturn. Arm yourself with knowledge and preparation and you’ll come out on top.

Forget About the Gym!

2008-08-10T05:06:00.000-07:00

To look at me, you would never guess that I have been a member of a health club since 1989. That is because, with the exception of brief spurts of intense motivation, I almost never go. It is not so much that I dislike the activity but rather, getting there, changing my clothes, working out, showering, changing my clothes again and getting back into my routine take up way too much time out of my day. I simply cannot fit going to the gym into my schedule.

I am not alone. The best estimates that I can find on-line from a number of sources indicate that upwards of 70% of health club members never or rarely use their membership.

Most of us need to work. We would like to spend time with our spouses, family and friends. We may study. We may have a spiritual or community life. And then there is exercise. In the face of that sort of to-do list, what do we cut out?

Despite our better intentions, may of us cut out the exercise. We know that lack of sufficient exercise results in obesity, reduced cardio-vascular health, increased stress and even depression. We buy gym memberships we don’t use. Many of us own home exercise equipment that gathers dust. We swallow expensive supplements and subscribe to controlled food-delivery services. In the end, we make ourselves sick with guilt when none of it works and we are too ashamed of ourselves to take advantage of all those money-back guarantees.

In my quest for a balanced life, I have come to terms with the fact that exercising for sake of it is not a priority to me. I have done many of the subtle things commonly suggested to increase my activity. I park several extra blocks from my office. I choose parking spaces far from the store entrance. I take the stairs rather then the elevator. I sometimes spend my break time walking around the block. It is not enough!

Enter the humble toofer. A toofer is an activity that gives us double return on our investment of time and energy—the result of “two for” the investment of one. Toofers allow me to combine items on my to-do list and help me find some of that sought-for balance in life.

Take, for example, the task of getting the car washed. If you drive to the car wash, reaching for your wallet is about all the exercise you are going to get. But, if you wash the car by hand, you get a clean car as well as some exercise. That is a simple toofer. Add into the equation, all the money you save and you have double toofer. Wash the car by hand with the kids and the return goes through the roof! You get a clean car. You get exercise. You have some fun. You spend time with the kids. And you save a little money.

Toofers that help increase exercise are everywhere. All we need is a little imagination and some planning. Rather than going to the movies, consider taking a walking tour of a local neighborhood or a visit to the museum, art exhibit or zoo. You’ll get some exercise and learn something as well.

Around the house, you might plant a vegetable garden, do some serious spring-cleaning, mow the lawn or paint a room. Volunteer for community clean-up day or build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Do any of these activities with family or friends and you exponentially increase the benefits.

I truly admire the folks at the gym with their chiseled athletic bodies. I wish I could go to the beach and not feel that I had somehow failed as a physical specimen. But I also know, beyond any doubt, that those people did not get those bodies from three twenty-minute workouts a week—no matter what the commercials say!

It takes real work and a lot of time to get a body like the ones we see in those commercials. I just do not have that kind of time. I would have to sacrifice another important facet of my life in order to spend that sort of time at the gym. So, I have forgotten all about the gym and the guilt for not going. As far as home exercise equipment goes, free weights make interesting stepping stones in the garden.

I’ll stick with the toofer. A little exercise is better than none. While I may not be an Adonis, my life is in better balance, I get exercise, have fun and get a few chores done in the bargain.

Tip: What Collection Agents Don't Want You To Know...

2008-08-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

As our economy continues to tighten many people will find it more difficult to manage their debt and eventually some will be have to deal with collection agents. Credit card debt is usually unsecured, that is, there is no collateral held against the debt. If consumers don’t pay, creditors can place negative remarks on their credit reports but there is nothing to repossess. They cannot touch assets without taking legal action. Most often, creditors merely call it a loss and sell off old unpaid debt to a collection agency.

The creditor may be done with the account but for the consumer, the ordeal is just starting. If you find yourself in that position, knowing some simple truths about the working with collectors can make this time less stressful and can help prevent you from making costly mistakes.

Open your mail. You will officially know what is going on with your account by mail. As companies give up on their ability to collect from you, they will transfer, actually sell, your account to another agency—often for pennies on the dollar. They must officially let you know when your account has been transferred. This is done through the mail. You need to know whom to contact about your account. Additionally, every time your account is transferred it is actually worth less to the collection agency which translates into more negotiating power for you.

Answer the phone. Ignoring the phone only makes them call more often. When you speak to an agent, don’t argue, don’t whine about your situation, and don’t plead your case. It won’t do any good. Collection agents are on commission. They are interested only in money. They hear the same reasons and/or excuses all day, every day. They aren’t interested in your special circumstances and can do next to nothing to help you make it better.

They will call you on your cell phone, call you at home or call you at work if they have the number. If you don’t want to deal with telephone calls at all, confirm the address of the agency. Send them a letter stating that they may only contact you by mail. Get a return receipt for the letter you send. You may need to do this every time your account is sold to another agency.

On the phone, be nice but firm. Working in collections is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. Collectors spend their whole day talking to fearful, angry, bitter, stressed and evasive people. Being pleasant and polite to them will make the conversation easier for both of you. Calmly assure the collection agent that your intention is to pay your debts in full when you have the money to do so. When they pressure you to make arrangements to pay, simply reaffirm what you’ve already said and apologize for not being able to do more at the present time. Never mention bankruptcy. To a collection agent, bankruptcy means you have no intention of paying your debts.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Many of people will make promises to collection agents just to end the unpleasant call. Broken promises only result in more aggressive, less cooperative behavior from collectors. This is why it is better to avoid setting up payment schedules. The one thing you should always say to a debt collector is that you intend to pay your debts in full when it is possible to do so. Refrain from elaborating.

Don’t believe what you hear. Collectors know more about the rules than you do and they aren’t going to educate you on your rights. They are going to say whatever it takes to get you to pay. They are trained to phrase what they say to you to be convincing, to catch you in lies and back you into a corner. They choose their words carefully and want to elicit an emotional reaction from you. What you hear may not be what the agent actually said and your response could make things worse.

Collection agents will threaten damage to your credit report. Point of fact, if your account is in collections, your credit report is already damaged pretty badly. Your first goal is to fix your finances so that you can begin to rebuild your credit. Temporary solutions just prolong the problem.

Nearly every letter you receive from a collection agency will indicate that you need to respond immediately to prevent possible legal action. If a collection agent mentions legal action, restate your intention to pay your debt in full and, if necessary, you are prepared to go to court and explain your intention and your situation to a judge. In the event that legal action is taken, show up with your documentation and, if you can afford one, a lawyer. Failing to appear will result in an automatic judgment against you that includes thousands of additional dollars to cover legal expenses.

Don’t send post-dated checks. It is illegal for you to write checks when you do not have the money in the account to cover them. Writing post-dated checks is not only illegal; it can result in all sorts of problems. You will almost certainly bounce checks and jeopardize your checking account as well as your credit report. You will face overdraft fees from your bank and returned check fees from the collection agency.

Keep records. You should keep a separate file for each account. Keep copies of all the letters you send and receive. Take notes every time they call. Write down the name of the person, the date, time and duration of the call and what was said. If you can, record the call itself. You have to advise them that you are doing so before you press the record button and then confirm that you are recording the call just after you start recording asking for their spoken permission to record the call.

If you’ve got money, you can negotiate. Keep in mind every time your account is transferred or sold to another agency, they have paid far less for that account than its face value. If they are going to sell your debt to someone else, why wouldn’t they sell it off to you? You can negotiate with a collection agency for a lower amount. They won’t like it. They will resist. They will say that what you want is not possible. But they do it all the time. Do not send any money until you have a written agreement that the amount you send will be recognized as payment in full, that no balance will be transferred or sold to another agency and that the report to the credit reporting agency will state that the account has been paid in full.

Educate yourself. The Federal Trade Commission produces a number of publications that explain consumer rights. The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act is available in PDF format on the commission’s website. www.ftc.gov

Get Help. Speak with a certified financial counselor. A reputable financial counselor will be able to explain a wide range of options and their unique conditions and consequences for resolving your debt situation. I am one of them and though I charge a fair bit of money, I provide a very valuable service. The point is, that help is out there and you can get it.

Tip: Change Your Perspective

2008-06-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

There is an old, wooden roller coaster in Kennywood park just outside of Pittsburgh that is famous with coaster aficionados from around the world. Rather than beginning the ride with a climb up a clickity, clackity slope, the Thunderbolt plummets 95 feet into a natural gorge. If you don’t know what to expect, you never catch your breath for the entire ride. After the first shock, the brief respite during the next climb is completely undermined by anticipation of the next drop. I feel almost certain that whoever coined the phrase emotional roller coaster had the Thunderbolt in mind.

The element of surprise feeds a good deal of power into our emotional response to any event. Once in motion, we are like the riders of the Thunderbolt who find it difficult to compose themselves. Our bodies automatically begin to produce and react to natural chemicals that make clear thinking difficult. Time and emotional distance are required before we can benefit from hindsight and realize that it wasn’t as bad as it had seemed.

Early in my career, I lived with a young family in New York. One warm summer evening, as we were taking a walk, the family’s little girl, Iris, was suddenly taken by a fit of frantic hysterics. Through gut-wrenching sobs she explained that she had lost her ring.

When Iris realized that the ring was gone, she was on the emotional version of the Thunderbolt. All of the natural reactions to stress, fear, loss, and grief came into play. It took considerable intervention to get her off that ride. It took her father picking her up and holding her tight. Her mother caressed her head and murmured comforting words. There were promises of a new ring, candy and ice-cream treats, and trips to the park.

To the adults, the value of that ring was negligible. On a practical level, it was a worthless piece of plastic that had come out of a gumball machine earlier in the day. To Iris, on the other hand, it meant so much more. Imagine the anticipation she must have felt when she turned the knob on the gumball machine and the excitement when that treasure of great beauty fell into her palm. Imagine too, how putting it on had made her feel beautiful and special.

Iris was only four years old. She couldn’t possibly have distanced herself enough to realize that the ring was just a piece of plastic, one of hundreds in that machine that would still be there the next day. She’d never be able to comprehend that the loss of that her ring was really insignificant compared to some of the others that she would experience later in life. Now that she is a grown woman with children of her own, I doubt that she even remembers the fateful day when that terrible tragedy struck.

Oh that we could learn this one lesson in life! This story isn’t just a cute tale of a sweet little girl in a pinafore dress with ribbons in her hair. It illustrates an essential truth. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Real tragedies happen on a daily basis but people survive them, sometimes miraculously unscathed. We marvel at the stories of survival and success after life shattering events like hurricanes, earthquakes and tornados. How much more are we likely to survive a missed deadline at work, an argument with a family member or a scratch on our new car?

It all comes down to perspective. For adults; perspective is a matter of choice. Upsetting events are an unavoidable part of life. Yet, we are often as easily traumatized as a four year old girl at the loss of a gumball machine ring.

Our reactions under those circumstances can be devastating. People have quit jobs, ended friendships, torn up contracts, separated from spouses and even committed acts of violence out of later regretted fits of emotion. The consequences of these actions are usually far more reaching than those of the event itself. Most of the injuries suffered in an earthquake aren’t from things falling on people but result from panic as people try to run away from perceived danger.

However, when we recognize the emotion as simply a reaction to an event or a circumstance, we immediately put some distance between our reaction and the event itself. That distance, whether expressed in time or space, allows us to more easily benefit from the perspective of hindsight.

Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to on hundred.” The principal works whether you are experiencing anger, frustration, fear, embarrassment or grief. If we distance ourselves from the moment and our immediate reaction, we might realize that things are not as bad as they seem and we might be able to react in a more appropriate manner.

But how? Here are some suggestions:

Count to ten. Take Jefferson’s advice to heart. When you count to ten, you do two things at once. You give yourself a moment before you react and you focus your attention on something trivial and inconsequential. In context, your situation may also seem less portentous.

Remind yourself that everything is going to be all right. These are the words we use to comfort others, why not comfort ourselves with them. Things may not be the same but they will be all right.

Don’t allow yourself to relive the event in your mind. Ruminating over an event only feeds and develops the emotion of it and reacting out of emotion is the real danger.

Go to the restroom. You may not be able to ignore an event but most of the time an immediate reaction isn’t necessary. Just walking into another room may be enough to trigger a change of perspective.

Distract yourself for a little while. If you need more than a few moments to compose yourself and get things into perspective, pick up a book or magazine. Play a game on the computer. Brush your teeth. Take out the trash. Clean your office. Pray or meditate. Go to the gym. Take a walk in the park. The situation may still be there later but you’ll be in a better mind to deal with it.

Remember the positive side. There are pros and cons to everything in life. When we are feeling down about something, we are focused on the cons. Try making a list of the pros. When you hate your job, think of the reasons why you like it. When you are angry with someone, remind yourself of his or her good qualities. When feeling grief, remember good times.

Look for the humor in the situation. The career of many comics depends on pointing out how silly we are when we take ourselves and the lives we live too seriously.

The amazing thing about the Thunderbolt is that once you know what to expect, it is a very exciting ride. People come from all over the world to experience it. We know that life is full of ups and downs. Aren’t we better off if we simply enjoy the ride?

Balanced Life Tip: A Short Nap Can Go A Long Way

2008-06-03T07:48:00.000-07:00

During my first semester in college I met an fine arts major named Beth who believed sleep was a waste of time. She slept in 20 minute chunks diligently working on projects in between several naps a day. She was perpetually fatigued, lethargic and lived in a dream-like fog that many of her friends took for being “cool.”

Beth was an extreme case but she typifies a common American mistake: When it comes to sleep, we’ve got better things to do. Consequently, so many of us are so sleep deprived that sleep disorders are common.

Just look around:

Advertising media bombard us with commercials for both prescription and over the counter sleep aids.

We see as many commercials and advertisements for mattresses promising better rest. How many of us haven’t walked into a store at the mall to find out what our “sleep number” is and who can resist finding out what the Tempur-Pedic mattress feels like? If you haven’t done this yet, admit that you’ve been tempted.

Convenience store shelves are stocked with vitamin packs and energy drinks.

Coffee is now an American obsession, commonly consumed even among teenagers. ($18 Billion of coffee a year is consumed in the US.)

Just twenty years ago, it would have been difficult to find someone who had undergone a sleep test. And if you actually knew someone who had experienced a test, chances were that he or she had travelled quite a distance, perhaps even by air, to be tested at a sleep center. Now, a simple count of the directory at sleepcenters.org reveals that there are at least 945 sleep test centers across the country. According to Sleep Centers of America, more than 70 million Americans have a sleep disorder and more than 10 million people a year consult their physicians regarding sleep-related issues.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, drowsy driving in America kills more than 1,500 people a year and causes 71,000 injuries in an estimated 100,000 sleep-related crashes a year.

If you ask me, America could do with a nap.

Winston Churchill put it eloquently when he wrote, “Nature had not intended mankind to work from 8 in the morning until midnight without the refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it lasts only 20 minutes, is sufficient to renew all vital forces.”

A Short Nap Can Go A Long Way!

Research has demonstrated that even a brief nap of between 20 to 45 minutes, will rejuvenate you, and increase your ability to concentrate making you more productive.

Until a few years ago, I pushed myself as hard as any other baby-boomer in the work force. I got up early, went into the office, worked late, came home and had trouble sleeping because I was so wound up. One day, I arrived an hour early for a meeting and I waited in my car.

The next time I glanced at the clock, it was 20 minutes later, a snore and awakened me. Apart from the slight self-conscious embarrassment of the snore, I felt terrific and my meeting went really well. I had recently read an article on power naps and had scoffed at the idea of companies putting in power nap facilities. Who is going to pay someone to take a nap? But, I was so impressed with by my own experience; I tried it again, this time on purpose. The difference was amazing. I began planning my appointments so that I could find half an hour a day for a nap. I purchased a sleep mask and a small travel pillow and kept them in the car. Since then, napping has become part of my regular routine. While others are socializing in the lunchroom, you’ll find me reclined in my car taking Winston Churchill’s recommended 20 minutes.

There are lots of people take naps. They don’t talk about it. It’s a secret because on some level, I think it embarrasses them. I admit, I nap in my car because I don’t think I could stand the ribbing I’d get if someone were to hear snoring behind my office door. I’ve met quite a number of people who say that they could never nap for just twenty minutes. They confess that they would be out for hours. Well, that just makes a stronger argument for the fact that most of us are sleep deprived.

Sleep researchers have discovered that sleep deprivation makes it difficult for us to learn and concentrate. Sleep deprived people are less productive, more forgetful and more prone to both error and accidents. It also causes weight gain, impairs our immune system, reduces our ability to handle stress and leaves us cranky.

Any one of these side-effects can set our work-life balance off kilter. By not getting enough sleep; we increase our exposure to all of them. Getting enough sleep is one of the most effective steps we can take to improving the quality of our lives. Here are ten simple things you can do to improve your sleep:

1. Save time to unwind. Give yourself more than an hour of mindless activity at the end of the day so that you do not spend half the night reliving the events of the day or rehearsing what might happen the next day. Read something frivolous. Watch TV. Pray or meditate.

2. Don’t eat late. In sleep, you body wants to heal and rejuvenate. If it is spending half the night digesting food, you are not reaping the full benefit of your sleep. Don’t eat less than two or three hours before going to sleep.

3. Avoid drinking a lot of fluids before bedtime if you often find yourself waking up to visit the bathroom.

4. Avoid caffeine after 2 pm. I know this may go against everything you hold dear and Starbucks stockholder may scoff, but the effects of caffeine can last a long time. If you need a picker-upper in the afternoon, rather than reaching for a cup of coffee or an energy drink, consider the humble nap or some physical exercise to get your energy flowing.

5. Consider non-chemical sleep aids. Buy a sleep mask and/or ear-plugs if you are a light sleeper. Pull the drapes closed. Cover LED lights. And if you live on a busy street or in a noisy building, white background noise may help--a recording of waves or rain or even the hum of a fan. (My dishwasher puts me right under.)

6. Invest in a good mattress. You spend a third of your life in bed, invest in a high-quality mattress that meets your needs.

7. Set your internal clock. Try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day whether you are working or not. You’ll know you are getting enough sleep when you wake up right before your alarm feeling refreshed and ready for the day.

8. Regulate your alcohol consumption. While alcohol can relax, it also has a dehydrating effect and reduces the quality of your sleep.

9. Consider power napping in the middle of the day but more than 8 hours before you go to bed. Napping later may make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep.

10. Get more physical exercise during the day. If our work is not physically taxing, chances are, we aren’t working our bodies as hard as we work our minds. A little exercise can set things right.

For more balanced life tips or to subscribe to my Balanced Life Tips please visit my website at www.integrityhpi.com

Kudos for a Job Well Done: Two Exceptional Work-Life Balance Efforts

2008-05-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

This blog entry is all about kudos. So often I find myself telling others how to improve their work life balance, and this week I’ve got two examples of things I never thought of.

One of the companies where I do some training is a call center in Pittsburgh. The company does telemarketing and with they way many people treat telemarketers, the job itself can be quite negative. It takes a lot of effort not to let that negativity spill over into the workplace.

While there are a number of restaurants in the area, the available choices are monotonous and repetitive and not very health conscious. The other day, I was walking through the call center and noticed someone eating what looked like a delicious meal, a real meal, out of a plastic lunch box.

“That looks great,” I commented.

“It is. I got it from Joan,” was the response. The person then proceeded to explain to me that a fellow employee, Joan had organized a sort of co-op for lunches. Joan likes to cook and clearly has considerable talent and skill in the kitchen. She collects a nominal amount of money ($25 for 5 meals) from all her participants and provides what could easily be called a gourmet lunch to the members of the co-op.

I take my hat off to Joan, who in her own very creative way, has contributed to making that call center a place to look forward to going. If I weren’t diabetic and a vegetarian, I’d consider joining the co-op. Kudos Joan for a job well done and much appreciated. Thanks for making work a better place to be.

A client I coach told me about another outstanding effort by one of our local hospitals. One of the managers has had considerable problems. Apparently her husband is out of work after hip replacement surgery. The manager herself had already had one bout with cancer and now it was back. Because of having already used up her sick time and vacation time, she was looking at unpaid leave for treatment and recovery.

Fellow employees are being allowed to “donate” accrued paid time off in order to give this co-worker some income while she is in treatment and recovery. Many of her coworkers gladly have sacrificed a day or two of PTO to helping her through this difficult time. Of course it would be even better if the employer stepped up to the plate and matched the gift.

The sense of community there is laudable and the flexibility of the Human Resources/Payroll office to allow the transfer of earned PTO is commendable. Well done. Well done. Well done.

Please help make work better for everyone! My company, Integrity HPI is conducting a work-life balance survey. It takes about 15 minutes and you can remain completely anonymous if you choose. Your information will be used to establish base-line data for future work-life balance analysis and program design and implementation. You'll also receive a free copy of my e-book, "102 Tips to a Balanced Life", when it is published this fall. Visit the website and follow the survey link. Thanks for your help!

www.integrityhpi.com

Look forward to going to work?

2008-04-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many people get up every day dreading the fact that they have to go to work. Years ago, there were mattress commercials on TV that boasted, "You spend a third of your life in bed. How comfortable is your mattress?" Well, let me take a twist on that. YOU SPEND MORE THAN A THIRD OF YOUR LIFE AT WORK; HOW COMFORTABLE IS YOUR JOB?

If you think your job isn't comfortable, ask yourself some questions.

1. Do you like what you do? If you don't, what are you doing about that? Are you going to school, exploring other options, talking to your boss about other opportunities? If you are doing work that you don't like, you are doing the wrong work--no matter how much it pays.

2. Are you doing your best? A lot of job dissatisfaction can be rooted in the fact that we aren't invested in our job. If we don't believe the work we do is important, we probably aren't doing our best work. Try doing the best job you can, even if you think your job isn't so important and you just might find the passion for your work that is lacking. Consider the myriad of hobbies with which people amuse themselves. People collect things and make things and study things that comparatively few people think are important. They are passionate and in most cases, the hobby COSTS them money rather than adding to their bank balance. Put a little passion into your job and might well see some changes in your attitude!

3. Does the company you work for support or undermine your values? OK, money is money but are you willing to compromise important parts of your personality just to make a buck? For example: If you are a person who wishes to lead a green life and your company doesn't even bother to recycle, you are probably frustrated. You have two choice. Try and get the company to gradually go greener or to find a greener company to work for.

4. Do you like the people at your job? Look at the people around you. Are they sour, complaining whiners who never have a positive thing to say? Do they respect you and your opinions? Do you feel comfortable, pleasantly surprised and do you greet them if you see them say, at the mall or in the park? Or, do you look the other way and hope they don't see you?

5. What about next year? Can you see yourself in the same job or even the same company in a year? If not, what should you change? Now, changing jobs often isn't good for your resume, no matter how easy it might or might not be for you. Consider changing something about your job that will make it better. It could be as simple as your attitude and as complicated as looking for opportunities to add dimension to your duties. If you see your job as temporary, you'll not be able to see all the potential it probably offers you.

Take my Work-Life Balance survey! It only takes about 15 minutes. You can remain completely anonymous but if you choose to use a valid e-mail address, you can receive a copy of the survey results, and/or a free subscription to weekly work-life balance tips and a copy of our e-book "102 Tips for Living a Balanced Life" Visit www.integrityhpi.com to take the survey. (Tell your friends.)

Babies at Work?

2008-04-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE AT THE END OF THE BLOG ENTRY!

One of the major problems employers face is motivating and engaging younger workers to remain with the company long enough to develop and contribute expertise—something they are losing rapidly as baby boomers retire.

The millennial generation, as they are called, are in high demand and one of its defining characteristics is there unwillingness to make great sacrifices they way their parents did. They want to work fewer hours. They work on the go, electronically connected wherever they are. They change jobs, companies and careers more often and with less provocation than their predecessors.

A USA Today cover story for yesterday, March 31, 2008, by Stephanie Armour highlighted the efforts of some companies allowing new mothers, and in some cases, new fathers, to bring an infant to work, usually until they are old enough to crawl. It stands to reason, younger people are, in general, the ones having the babies and if they are going to take time off work to do so, they are more likely to simply quit their jobs knowing that in a few months, they can easily find another one.

MAYA Design, last years recipient of the Pittsburgh Human Resource Association’s (PHRA) People Do Matter award, was featured as being a pioneer in the babies at work program development. In a presentation made at the PHRA conference last year, their test mother actually work more billable hours after giving birth than she had the previous year. Is it possible that having a baby in the office motivates more productivity?

There are pros and cons like any other work-life balance program instituted in an organization. When companies are considering such programs, there are some fundamental questions they need to ask before consulting the lawyers and trying to set about creating the rules and procedures for the program.

Before considering the cost of implementation, companies should think through and evaluate the cost of NOT implementing a program. How many employees are likely to miss work, quit, be distracted or less productive without it. This sort of calculation is part of projected Return on Investment (ROI) but is often left out because it’s difficult if not expensive to measure in it’s own right.

How will other employees react to the program? Will they see it as showing favoritism? Will it seem inequitable to them? Can this program be presented as part of a suite of equalizing benefits?

Then, and only then, should we consider the design of the program and the inevitable discussions with the lawyers. The lawyers will nay-say and unless there is visionary leadership to push the lawyers into taking the extra steps to make such programs work, there’s no point in the discussion.

The designers also have to keep in mind that no matter how hard they work at the design and implementation, something somewhere will go wrong. There are lessons to be learned but they shouldn’t stop us from facilitating work-life balance.

What do you think? Should new mothers be permitted to bring infants to work?
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=nb2u3qq5qHe5aykJ5zSXdg_3d_3d

The Boss Button?

2008-03-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading an article by Dan Wetzel called, "America's Tournament: Buttoned down in which he reports that last year, "American businesses lost and estimated $1.2 billion in worker productivity during the NCAA tournament, mostly during the first two days."

He reports that the Internet feed people who are running the Internet broadcast of the games have even developed something they call a boss button that will dump the screen when their boss is in close proximity. Imagine that, an entire company watching the games from individual cubicles. Will the button stop them from cheering on their team?

Savvy employers know that events like this cost them in productivity no matter what they do. I suggest taking full work-life balance advantage of it. If nothing else, employers can drastically reduce the number of times employee stop work to check the score by simply having them sign up for an email blast that will up date them on the scores periodically.

The get the biggest work-life balance bang out of this sort of thing, play it up all the way. Since productivity is going to take a dive anyway, why not turn it into an employee appreciation event. Broadcast important games in the employee lounge. Serve snacks and run a few contests with team products, sweatshirts, key chains, that sort of thing, as prizes.

Now I don't mean shut down the company for the whole time but rather than having employees pressing their boss buttons when he or she is in close proximity, there are real morale and work-life balance points to be had by letting them watch portions of the game while munching on a company lunch.

The Balanced Life

2008-01-07T04:56:00.000-08:00

For years we have been talking about work-life balance. Corporations have spent millions of dollars, often demonstrating solid return on their investment, on establishing work/life balance programs. Yet that balance seems to elude us.

Just the other day, I was speaking with a coaching client who recently became unemployed and she was telling me about how she is spending her days. "I thought I'd have some time to do a decent job search and maybe even catch up on some of my reading but honestly, I don't know how I got anything done at all when I was working. I barely have enough time to just do the chores!"

She's not the first person to experience how busy life can be even without work. How much time is enough? Forget the question. It the wrong question to ask.

People don't naturally balance their lives if given sufficient time. It is true that balance is highly individual but there are some general principals we can all apply to achieve a greater sense of balance in our lives.

Balance happens both internally and externally. The working world looks at the external factors in a person's life and tries to accommodate it. Responsibilities, Obligations and commitments take up hours in a day and work/life balance programs try to accommodate them. Got to pick up the kids, go to the grocery store for Mom, take Dad to the doctor's office, then go to the dry-cleaners, order dinner from the restaurant, take Daughter to her soccer game and Son to his Scout meeting. But without internal balance, you really don't have a chance at balancing the external.

Internal balance is composed of five aspects: physical; intellectual; social; emotional and spiritual. (Order doesn't intend significance.) Each has their place and if we can accommodate them, find our internal balance, we are very likely to be able to more effectively cope with and balance the external factors in our lives.

Over the next five weeks, I'll be talking about each of these aspects individually and I hope to get some real input from you. So subscribe to the blog if you want to be reminded of new entries or send me an email and I'll put you on my update list.

Your Job Can Make a Real Difference

2007-12-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

There was a time in my life when I took a job to make a difference in the world and little did I know that one of the biggest differences would be the change in me. I'm posting the story because it's good. You don't have to change careers or make huge sacrifices to make a difference. You can make a difference everyday no matter where you are. Part of the work-life balance is work. Your job should count and matter to you. Check out my personal website if you want to learn more about following your bliss. www.josephonesta.com

In 1995, I had a successful career teaching university English in Los Angeles but my personal life was in turmoil. It seemed everyone I knew was in some stage of terminal HIV disease. Hospital visits and memorial services were just a part of life. At 35 years old, I was experiencing the same level of peer loss my parents were experience in their 70’s.

Though I held a lot of hands, ran errands, sat in waiting rooms, it didn’t feel like I could do anything for the people around me. I suffered from something called survivor’s guilt. Why among all my friends was I the one to escape the plague? It seems warped to think that way. I should have been glad that I was free of that virus but being uninfected made me almost a freak. I sometimes felt like I had to apologize for being HIV negative.

I really wanted to do more for them so I made a bold move, some say a crazy move. I quit teaching and took a job working for AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) cutting my income by about 75%. I created the nation’s premier day program for people living with AIDS. If I couldn’t stop them from dieing, I could help improve their lives in some way.

It was like day camp for people with AIDS. I was a cross between Julie on the Love Boat and Mother Theresa. I recruited, trained and managed volunteers to lead activities and administer services. I solicited donations of goods, services, products and equipment. What I couldn’t get from a volunteer or a donor, I often supplied myself.

It worked! More than 2000 clients participated but instead of being exuberant, I was exhausted. Nothing was ever good enough. They complained, tried to tell me how to do it better, whined when there wasn’t enough and criticized everything. They used characteristic rapier wit to cut me to shreds. I knew it was the frustration they felt in life that made them complain but it still hurt. It still tore me down. Inside of six months, I was beginning to fizzle out.

One day as I scrambled though the crowds setting up activities, handing out vouchers, scheduling appointments, a client stepped into my path and would not move aside until I heard her out. Chantal was six foot four and in transition from being a big, rather unattractive man to being a larger than life, very unattractive woman.

“I need to speak with you,” She held one hand on her hip, the decorated fingernails on the other cutting the air between us. I stopped waiting for yet another complaint. When she knew she had my attention, she spoke. “These bitches are going to chew you up and spit you out. You need to stand up, Joseph.”

Sure, I felt pretty chewed up already but stand up? How could I stand up to the people I was trying to serve? What I needed to do was try harder, work harder, go more. I thanked her for her comment and tried to ease my way around her.

“Oh, no, uh-uh.” she said. “Look at me. Do you think I can live my life without giving myself a pep talk once in a while? When one of these bitches has anything to say to you that doesn’t begin with please or end with thank you, in the back of your mind you need to say to yourself, “I am fabulous!”

When you wake up in the morning, the first words that come to mind should be, “I am fabulous.” Every time you look at your face in the mirror, “I am fabulous.” When you step outside your door to greet the day, “I am fabulous.” Joseph, let me be the first to tell you, I think you are fabulous.”

OK, I admit it. I thought she was nuts. I’d been living in Southern California for five years but I was still a Western Pennsylvanian. This affirmation stuff was kind of a joke to me. Surprisingly, it stuck. Whenever I was having a bad day, I could see Chantal telling me I was fabulous. “I am fabulous” became a kind of mantra that made my work a lot lighter.

“How are you doing today, Joseph?”
“Fabulous, just fabulous.”

After two years of poverty in the name of AIDS, I needed to take another job to dig myself out of the debt I had created for that program. I took a job directing a team of personal finance speakers for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Los Angeles and one day, I was winding up a speech on credit reports to a room of perhaps 60 people when a person stood up in the back of the room and asked if I had remembered him.

“I am at client at AIDS Project Los Angeles,” he said boldly. “I just want to say that I believe I am alive today because of the man standing in front of this room. His program gave me a reason to live. I had a place to go. I had something to look forward to and I just want to say in front of everyone that I think this guy is…”

Go head. You can finish his sentence…fabulous. Considering when I first started recruiting volunteers for my program, most people with AIDS didn’t live more than two years, perhaps he was right. He had made it well past the two year mark and so did many others. Some are still around today which is more than a miracle.

I don’t take responsibility for miracles. Newer medications and treatments take the spotlight there. I do look back and see a fundamental truth. When you follow your bliss, as Joseph Campbell said, you put your self on track to live the life that you should be living. You line up with the energy of the universe and who knows, the universe might just send a six foot four transgendered person to encourage you along the way just when you need her most.

Cell Phone Slave Declares Freedom

2007-12-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

In 1986, I was sitting with an elderly lady of society in New York City when her telephone rang. The telephone was located on the chairside table where she sat. There was no answering machine attached. I asked her if she wanted to take the call fearing she might have thought it impolite to answer while we chatted. (I also admit that the ringing anoyed me but that's another story.)

"I had the telephone installed for my convenience. It is not convenient right now for me to answer it." We waited and the phone stopped ringing.

Flash forward, 1998, I'm sitting in an outdoor cafe in Santa Monica California with my friend Micheleangelo. (Yes there are living people today with that name.) His cell phone rang for the third time during our brief visit and yet again, I wait several minutes, listening to his side of what I consider an inane conversation. I'm getting pretty ticked off. Not only are these people interrupting him but they are interrupting me. I drop some money on the table, pretend to look at my watch and mouth the words, "I gotta go. I'm going to be late" and I cut out.

Flash forward another 9 years, it's 2007 and I am sitting in a Thai restaurant in Pittsburgh, PA. I've been working endlessly on my career, building my work-life balance consulting practice. I'm with my partner Elihu, someone I've barely seen in the last two weeks. Between his work schedule and mine, these moments alone are rare. My cell phone rings. I had been waiting all day for a call from a potential client. As I reach for my cell phone, I feel like I'm outside my body watching the scene unfold. As I pull the cell phone from my pocket, I remeber that society lady and Michelangelo and without looking to see who was calling, I press the button on the side of phone ignoring the call and tossing it back into my pocket.

Elihu asks me why I didn't take the call and I tell him, "You are the most important person in my life. There is no one I want to or need to talk to right now more than you."

The server, who had been waiting to take our order, was stunned. She actually had a tear in her eye. "That is so sweet," she said. Elihu beamed and we had a fantastic meal.

Part of finding bliss and balancing all of the things that go on in our lives is understanding what is and what is not important and when it's important. Think about how often you answer your phone and it isn't anyting important at all. Think how many times you have to stop doing something that is important in order to take a call that is not.

Bliss
Joseph

The Company Holiday Party

2007-12-02T12:46:00.000-08:00

There is a blurring of what is and is not appropriate during many office parties. People are loosening up and letting go. The bosses say they want you to have fun but take it from someone who has been to many office parties. Stay on the safe side. You are still at work.

The office party may be free flowing with holiday "spirits" but get drunk on your own time, away from the office. A drink or two, you know your limit, won't hurt but you don't really want to let your hair down all the way. Office relationships have been permanently damaged and people have lost their jobs for things they've said and done while supposedly "off the clock" at the office party. One of my clients once told me of an office party at which, an inebriated young man made a sexual overture toward the CEO's wife! OK, he was drunk. He didn't realize who she was. He didn't realize what he was doing and he probably wouldn't have done that if he were sober. He was still looking for a new job.

Dress appropriately; it's still work! It's nice to get dressed up but save the overtly sexy wear for truly social events. You don't want to be the object of unwelcome attention during the party and you don't want to be the source of all the gossip after.

If you are a manager, you have to go. It's unfortunate but all right for an employee to opt out but if you have supervisory responsibilities, you really should be there. You are, in effect, a host to the people you supervise but you never stop being the leader. You might relax a bit but remember that your behavior and demeanor should reflect the same quality of character you display while on the job. In fact, you still are on the job.

Avoid cliquish behavior. Of course it's natural to want to be with the people you know but you see them all the time. If you really want to spend time with your immediate co-workers, you should do this on your own. The office party is a great time to get to know others in the company a little better. It's also an opportunity to let people see who you are. Make a point of mingling, shaking hands and remembering names. You'll build allies throughout the organization who can make your life and your job easier in ways you cannot imagine.

If you are invited to be someone's guest or you are going to your spouses holiday party, the same rules apply but double. Your goal is to look good, be polite and stand quietly next to your spouse and let him or her make a good impression. You are not there to have a good ime; you are there to accompany the person you care about.

Make sure to extend your mingling to those high level managers and senior managers with whom you don't normally interact. The two most critical elements in getting promoted, getting better assignments and more challenging or interesting projects are having a higher level "sponsor"—that is someone who remembers you and thinks of you as they are discussing assignments and being a respected and well-liked person. The company party is a great time to make a positive impression.

Hate your job?

2007-11-30T06:50:00.000-08:00

"I don't really have a job, but I can understand why one would hate it if they were so burdened." --Oscar Wilde (supposedly but I don't know for sure)

The number of people who are absolutely unhappy at work is astounding! Nearly every day some article or news story crosses my screen encouraging me to find a new job, learn how to cope with an nut-case boss or negotiate a raise.

I fully appreciate the role the company plays in this mass discontent but is it possible that everywhere is so bad that everyone who works there wants to change jobs? How much am I responsible for my own bliss at work?

There are lots of things I can't control in my life. No matter how much they frustrate me, the only real thing I can do is control my reaction to them. There is no doubt that some people find themselves in jobs that are a bad fit and that they stay in them for reasons that make them feel trapped. But running away and changing jobs is not usually where we are going to find bliss at work.

There are some concrete strategies you can employ to achieve a greater sense of bliss at work. No one seems to be talking about them, so I will.

Understand how your job affects the jobs of others. Usually what we do either feeds off of or into the work of someone else in the organization. If we understand this process flow, we will understand the importance of what we do.

Don't feed the gossip mill. Gossip behind the backs of others and I guarantee there will be people talking after you leave the room and you probably wouldn't like what they are saying.
Cut the complaining. Negativity only breeds negativity. Look at the positives and if you can't see any, make them happen. I'm not saying that you need to be Pollyanna on a rainy day but most of what you hate about your job is in the way you look at it, not in the job itself. If you have suggestions for improvement, write them up and take them to your boss. Save them for evaluation time.

Be likable and friendly to your coworkers and to your superiors. I hate to admit it but much of life is a popularity contest. When we were in high-school, there were popular people and the rest of us. The secret of popularity is being likable, non-judgemental and positive with integrity. If your coworkers like you, they won't be jealous or resentful of your success. If your bosses and supervisors like you, they will more likely champion your advancement in the organziation when promotions are on the horizon.

Mentor AND be mentored. Older folks on the job have a lot to offer. Younger folks do to. It's just that they have differences. If you are one of the people who can bridge the gap between the baby boomers and the milenials, work will be more fulfilling. Instead of judging how "they" are, why not learn about them and share experiences in a non-judgmental way. Milenials, you might be able to learn from the experience of those boomers and boomers, you could probably use a little help keeping up with the changes that seem to be everywhere.

Help others do better and feel better about being there. Whether you simply hold the door for someone or you offer to help with with some of their tasks, working collaboratively, smiling, contributing and appreciating your coworkers will not only make their day better, it will do as much for yours.

Document your achievements and successes. Keep a working journal that indicates progress and/or completion of projects, special accomplishments, and achievements. Set improvement goals every day and comment on your successes. Also comment on special things that make your day seem lighter and more pleasant. "Stella was really glad about getting her vacation request approved." "John seemed to really appreciate my comments on the report he made." Not only will you feel better about the job you do, you'll also have useful information that you can use to contribute to your evaluation.

Establish your own IDP. (Individual Development Plan) Look at the positions of those people who are one or two rungs above you on the ladder. Look at others who perform similar jobs better than you do. What goals and practical steps can you set and take to be more successful and more promotable at work?

Even if you are in a job that is a bad fit, it is your job for now. Success in it will better your chances of finding a position that is more suited to you.

Do You Look Forward to Going to Work

2007-11-30T06:31:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how many people I've interviewed who have said that the thing they like best about their jobs is going home at the end of the day. Why do they hate their job? And, if they hate their job so much, why do they do it?

Let's face it. Some people just like to complain. It's the way they live. But that can't be everybody! What's going on? Here are a few ideas to help you feel a bit more postive during your commute.

Everything is boring once in a while. Just because doing your job seems a little tedious or repetitive, it doesn't mean it's time to walk away. Life has its ups and downs. There is a certain amount of repitition in everything and boredom is really in the eye of the beholder. You have to get past both of these obstacles and when you do, you may be glad you stuck around.

Consider inovation. If your job is boring and repetitive, look for ways of making the work easier or smarter or converting what you do you into a game. I knew a customer service rep in California who kept a tally of kinds of people she spoke to. Now her classifications weren't the most kind in the world but she actually saw a pattern of problems and when she discussed it, the pattern--not the game, with her boss, it resulted in process changes that made their jobs easier.

On the other hand, it might be time for a change. It may be time to find a new job, set your eyes on new horizons and do something about your own discontent. There are many people who have buried themselvs deep into jobs that mean little more than a paycheck to them. They don't value what they do at all.

These are the first to complain about being underpaid. These complainers are in a sense, correct. They are not paid appropriately for the amount of discomfort their jobs cause them even if the salary is appropriate for the position. If what the complainers are saying is, "You can't pay me enough to do this," they are certainly in the wrong job. On the other hand, if they complain about everything, perhaps the problem isn't the job.

Sometimes other causes of our discontent are spilling over into our jobs. Maybe I argued with my spouse or bounced a check or got a flat tire. If I spend most of my working time thinking about all the difficulties I have at home, my emotions will affect my job and I won't be happy there. In fact, I won't be happy anywhere. I need to make some internal changes before I start searching for a new job.